Without language, is there consciousness? To me there only seems to be awareness and memory. Memory, which is the back catalogue of moments of awareness. I had so much space and silence inside me on the drive home. My body feels so still and aligned. When I move I have constant ideas or complete awareness. When I come to communicate either experience, it seems so insignificant, ephemeral, small, compared to the sensation inside me. It is hard writing about language. But when the concepts flow through me it seems so obvious and simple. Can language capture the experience of awareness? How can “nothing” be so full of everything. Everything is nothing. In nothing is everything. To feel everything without language is nothing. It is vast space. Silence. Comfort. Euphoria. Contentment. Awareness. It is that what is right now, is enough. It is more than enough. It is over flowing. It… Read More "Language Consciousness"
There is a reason I speak about things. I know. From experience. First hand. Many more truths than you can comprehend. Unless you too have the same quantity and quality of first hand experiences, you have absolutely nothing to say, or offer me. I’ll add your data to my information pool, but it won’t change anything I have to say, or disprove anything I have done and know. You are nothing. You are a point in an expansive data set that is my brain. So if you want to scream your differeing opinion or attack me about how I’m wrong, link me to your 15 years of writing, research and relevant experience, or set up your own platform and articulate your points, create, cause you cannot effect what I make or do, your experience of the world is up to you. I see your projection and low IQ takes. You… Read More "If you Haven’t…then Don’t Fucking Speak To Me"
How come you’re allowed to blaspheme but you can’t say anything antisemitism?! How come “they” get their own rules and get mad at everyone for way less blasphemy than committed against other religions all the time. Just talking about “them” is called antisemitism. Read More "They"
“There are many roles that people play and many images that they project. There is, for example, the “nice” man who is always smiling and agreeable. “Such a nice man,” people say. “He never gets angry.” The facade always covers its opposite expression. Inside, such a person is full of rage that he dares not acknowledge or show. Some men put up a tough exterior to hide a very sensitive, childlike quality. Even failure can be a role. Many masochistic characters engage in the game of failure to cover an inner feeling of superiority. An outward show of superiority could bring down on them the jealous wrath of the father and the threat of castration. As long as they act like failures they can retain some sexuality, since they are not a threat to her father.”― Alexander Lowen, Fear Of Life “While the repression of a memory is a psychological process, the… Read More "Fear Of Life by Alexander Lowen"
I take in so much information through my senses. I am currently wearing my headphones on full blast and it is like a soothing massage of the brain. Helping me focus. Reducing my hypervigilance. Lifting my mood. Keeping me moving. Keeiping ideas flowing. Keeping me level, light. I haven’t really done this before!!!! I use headphones out the house. I used to resent having to wear headphones in the house to drown out my neighbours. So havent had this enlightening experience will all encompasing sound in the house. Its joy. It will solve a lot of issues that still can stagnate. Energies that get stuck. Also just had a good body adjustment. Moving my left hip in and my torso over the hip. And feel more at ease. feel like I can actually relax my upper body and it be in the right posture, not collapsing. Read More ""
All good ideas fail once filtered through the low IQ masses. Read More "the degnereation of ideas"
As I comb through my archives, I want to talk about things that arise that I have never put into words. Especially around my physical body. Moving right now and seeing what used to terrify me. Seeing the past me with the kinder eyes of now and with the wisdom from the deeper understanding of my body and my experience of being a human. Read More ""
I am constantly trying to create more than I destroy. It is so easy to be distainful. Its so much more pleasurable to support. Contribute good ideas instead of critique, no matter how good you think that critique is. Read More ""
A man saying “good for you” to a woman who just got fake tits is peak dystopian for me today. Fuck her. Fuck him. How long will it take for women to stop hating their bodies?! Read More ""
I have got a lot to sort out and put in order in relation to my realisation that we clearly do still need feminism or some kind of womens rights, cause of everything from Andrew Tate, to Dana White hitting his wife, to shaming women in the gym for feeling threatened, or all the other litany of examples. Feminism shit. Feminism is shit. Everyone hates it. It has done more harm than good. Well, not entirely. It got women equal rights, in law, and protection as a sex class, due to our capacity to reproduce and the risk that puts us in from the other sex class. But feminism demanded to make the body political, to make culture political, to be seen as equal, to have the right to medical procedures. It went too far. The mainstream lags behind the artists, comedians, writers, philosophers, film makers…creatives, by 20 – 100… Read More "Women Are Still Fucked"
As career sex worker I have a lot of info on this. The majority of sex workers are subsistance workers. They earn as much as any other average job. They earn more than Starbucks workers and less than lawyers. They are stay at home moms. They are women will mental or physical disability. They are nomads. They are artists, writers, students. They have 2,3 or 4 jobs. They are EXACTLY like every other subsitance worker in this country and I guarantee everyone knows at least one. As MOST sex workers NEVER come out. Ive been subsistance sex working for 12 years. Every single day I wake up and do EXACTLY what I want. I have travelled the world. I have had non judgemental relationships around the world. I am a artist. I have lived in the wilderness alone for years. I have had community in the subsistance sex work space,… Read More "Subsistance Sex Workers."
This is just more proof for me as to why I don’t get on with most people. Most women. I am so different from the majority in all major factors, so add them all up and I really am rare in my perspective and experience on this planet. In terms of women who think the same as me re children, I am the same as the 10% of women who don;t want children who havent had them. Most women who haven’t had them, want them. I cannot comprehend. Out of the happy childless women, how many are age appropriate as a friend, how many are sex workers, how many are artists aswell, how many are loners, how many live in the wilderness? I would imagine HC women will have similar interests or ways of life cause of all the reasons they are HC will affect what interest we have. But… Read More "Happy Childless, If Not For The Others…Mothers."
Im trying to adjust my pace to reality. Slow down. No immediate news, updates, other people. Just me. My thoughts. Me enjoying reality as it is, not just feeling good cause I’m isolating and controlling. Always remembering the bigger picture. The chance of being alive for this moment in infinity. 90s pace. Cause I fucking love tv. But books. And music. Stay in my body. Write what I know deeply. No need to be responding to the stuff that is intentionally spread to diss tract and control. Read More "Pace"
The majority of people hate their bodies. They hate their sexed animal body. They hate their innate drives. They hate how little control they have over their bodies. They hate the difference between their minds and their bodies. They hate how they are judged for their bodies. They hate carrying a meat sack around. Enlightenment so far has been thought of as mental, spiritual, out of body, higher, escaping physical reality, male. That is why no one has achieved a state of being akin to enlightenment or godliness. We are physical forms. The enlightenment is inward. It is physical, it is mastery of the mind to let the body be free. It is the mind that we must escape. The real enlightenment is bodily, female, real, present, grounded, euphoric in physical reality. The biggest block and the foundational stone of the badly domesticated human is their denial of sex. The… Read More "The Root"