Testing using this off line. When I’m done ovulating I am in the perfect brain to get shit done. Do website. Write. Ovulation is free to be a sexy rebel. connect to body. Enjoy being horny. Generate balance and grace. Period is whatever I want. No socials. Post period, direct. Percolate. Look but don’t talk. Pre period. Delete social media. Walk. Move. Travel. Drive. Brain storm ideas. Read More "Today Tuesday 17th October"
In the Bus
Out with Kitty and Bussy for a reset after my trip to England. A bit lost in life. But finding myself in the spaces. A lot of my struggles can be relieved by soothing my body. Letting it relax, expand, dropping fight or flight responses. Only then can I find the freedom in my humanity. Read More "In the Bus"
I take in so much information through my senses. I am currently wearing my headphones on full blast and it is like a soothing massage of the brain. Helping me focus. Reducing my hypervigilance. Lifting my mood. Keeping me moving. Keeiping ideas flowing. Keeping me level, light. I haven’t really done this before!!!! I use headphones out the house. I used to resent having to wear headphones in the house to drown out my neighbours. So havent had this enlightening experience will all encompasing sound in the house. Its joy. It will solve a lot of issues that still can stagnate. Energies that get stuck. Also just had a good body adjustment. Moving my left hip in and my torso over the hip. And feel more at ease. feel like I can actually relax my upper body and it be in the right posture, not collapsing. Read More ""
Bus Night
Aspie Cam Girl Problems
Im not in the right mood for cam today. I am way too real me who wants to act like the grown, intelligent, aspie woman I am. Apparently if you are like that you cant also be sexual and horny. I cant be this real me as they just dont understand it. Which makes me dig in more. Why should I have to lower myself to their level….cause money bitch thats why!!! Read More "Aspie Cam Girl Problems"
3/18/22
I have had a life of amazing things cause I collect times Ive been fully in the moment. If Im searching for something, somewhere, someone, outside myself, or get lost in my head, then I wont be collecting new amazing experiences. What make an amazing experience for me is when Im fully immersed in what Im doing. Not thinking outside of the moment, not analysing how I feel, being fully present. I can do that for everything. I dont have to wait for something big enough to demand my full attention. It is the attention to bring to everything I do so that even the smallest activity is an event. I won’t collect new experiences by thinking about what to do. I will collect new experiences by being present in what I am doing. Read More "3/18/22"
Struggling To Share Me
Just Fancied A Chat
I feel like I am really proud of being me and really angry at everyone else for being shit. Try not to let that negatively affect me.
Trying Again To Say Something To My Best Friend & Failing
ive felt that our directions of growth were diverging and could be clashing. So I thought it best to withdraw and didnt have the words Read More "Trying Again To Say Something To My Best Friend & Failing"
Weed Women Breakdown Beginings
sorry but saying this to a 36 year old autistic woman whos social skills are so bad that ive been alone most of my life is pretttttyyyy ableist. I am very aware of all the different personalities and how I dont ever fit in and get pushed out my NT people. Like happened here and why I brought it up. I am a mod cause I thought Id found a space where I could be me and not have to make space for all the different NT personalities that normally take over everywhere. Read More "Weed Women Breakdown Beginings"
Autism Experiences
It’s cool to have been bullied and abused for being myself all my life instead of anyone caring enough to realize I have a debilitating mental illness. Read More "Autism Experiences"
Wished I Could Ask People This.
do any of you get debilitated by the reality of how awful humans are and how fucked the world is? on a existential, grand, fundamental reality scale, not like, “lots of people have been mean to me and they suck”. But as in the trajectory of humanity is totally fucked and has been for tens of thousands of years and no one is looking to or willing to do anything about it? or even admit its all fucked up and wrong. and its getting exponentially worse. Read More "Wished I Could Ask People This."
still a little nothing/off/flat. i think i need to get outside
BPD and Relating
This morning I didnt smoke. I was having a good morning. until thinking about seeing ryan and how its like saturday and he hasnt seen me since tuesday or said anything about seeing me the last few days. i immediately went into a intense bpd reaction. when i have those thoughts i belive them. i believe i am seeing facts. that this is the wise thought, reaction and feeling to the situation.i sent angry texts. i wanted to cry. i was overcome with negative emotion and feeling. i felt sick. emotionally exhausted. i couldnt fight it. But i was aware that i was not high and that I was having a bpd reaction. so i got high and ive felt my mind change from being angry and in pain, to feeling almost fine and not caring. i still have residuals of those earlier feelings. and dont want to/havent relaxed into… Read More "BPD and Relating"
Different Brains
i get in these moods where im sober and serious and getting shit done and i think it is the way i need to be/want to be. i think its best for work and for me getting shit done. but then im not hapy and light. im heavy and strickt. my rules and boundaries are hard and i like to enforce them. i dont smile or laugh easy. everything has to be serious.i never know which mind is the right one to be in. too high and silly also means open and positive and creative and light. looser boundaries, being nice just cause i want to not causee anyone desrves it. strict me needs people to earn it and desrve it. its kind of protective. hight standards. more blank. unable to express internal emotion. or maybe i am. this blank, sarcastic, mean cold,aahhh ditatched. its very detatched, i want to… Read More "Different Brains"
People Are Drawn To Me And I Hate It.
Fuck SnapChat
They deleted my account. For a non rule violation. So now I’m sharing my life in much greater real time detail on OnlyFans. OnlyFans.com/SkySmith Read More "Fuck SnapChat"
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