As I comb through my archives, I want to talk about things that arise that I have never put into words. Especially around my physical body. Moving right now and seeing what used to terrify me. Seeing the past me with the kinder eyes of now and with the wisdom from the deeper understanding of my body and my experience of being a human. Read More ""
Sex Art
As a sex worker and a artist, my sex work is my art and my art is my sex work. How can it be seperate? How can anyone know that everything I do in my sex work has a artistic, intentional concept, when that concept is to be a sex worker being authentically myself? Where does the work stop and the art begin? How can I be focusing on my art when I need it as work to make me money to survive in the world? Its kind of like a artist having to make work that is more commercial so they can make thier conceptual pieces. Sitting on cam, slogging away to make enough money to eat and pay rent, doesnt feel like art. But the fact that I have chosen sex work to survive is art. The way I work, the snapshot, slip shod, overly real, emotional, reactive, reality I expose is the art. But it also just who I am and have no control over. But that free sharing of my authentic self in its painful reality is why its art. Im not performing being a sex worker. I am pushing the concept of sex work and its intersection with the self and my art as one whole piece. Like Lady Gaga. She is Lady Gaga. But becoming a pop star was her perfromance art. She isnt a false persona. But her choice to share her real self in that role is the art. I could perform being a sex worker, by doing the job better. I could not see it as art and do all the things you are supposed to do, the marketing, the editing, the buisness plan, the pushing for goals and growth. But I am not performing the job of sex worker. I… Read More "Sex Art"
Deep Thought = Legitimate Work
Deep thought as deep work. Deep thought as legitimate work. Deep thought and it’s productivity in relation to my writing. In order to be a great writer you must have great ideas. And to get great ideas you usually need to spend time thinking about ideas and their possibilities and pursuing different ideas. Many great artists have and still do sequester themselves away from Soceity and often civilization in order to create. Most people do not have the luxury of prolonged periods of deep thought. However due to the unusual lifestyle I’ve lead over the past 7 years I’ve found myself with more and more time for deep thought. I am now at a point where my life is almost solely devoted to deep thought. I also have been pursuing the opposite. The ability to stop all thought and just exist in the moment. To sense. To be. And to be content. I am really happy with how far I have come with both of these polar states. But now I am wondering if too much deep thought could be detrimental to productivity. Especially in my case. I have always been a dreamer. A ideas person. I love fixing and solving. But I’m not much of a doer. I don’t actually put the ideas down or pursue them very often…..I’m pausing. I’m not sure that is true. I’m living in a school bus in America without a job or responsibilities, exactly what i wanted, my idea. Maybe more of the reality is that I have had a long period where I haven’t been able to put my thoughts into actions or successfully pursue ideas. And for the last year I have been having more ideas than usual and I haven’t been in a situation to put much down on paper or… Read More "Deep Thought = Legitimate Work"
Task based personal assistant.
I live in a small bus, on my own. I love the independent life. But sometimes you just need another person. Whether it is for company, an extra pair of hands on a task, doing something you can’t or don’t like to do, taking care of things you dont have time for or even someone to just accompany you when you dont want to go somewhere alone, an extra person can make all the difference. I am that extra person. I have a ridiculously varied and unusual resume, which should help give you an idea of what skills and experience I have, and also have started a list of ideas for the different kinds of personal assistance you didnt even know you needed or could get! Ideas There is the long list of normal tasks like cooking, cleaning, laundry and errands and the specific services I can provide based on my resume, that you might already have thought of, so here are some more outside the box options and why you might need me: – Going on a walk – if you dont like hiking alone, have never been or dont know where to go, if you have kids and need an adult on the daily walk with you for once, if you are elderly or disabled and need someone to get out the house with, if you want to walk slowly in silence or if you want someone to talk your worries away with while we get your heart rate up. I walk everyday and the more we can all walk the better we will be. – Vacation/travel planning – searching all the options for flights, co ordinating a vacation, road trip or buisness travel, comparing hotels, finding the best deals, which combo goes with what, how will you… Read More "Task based personal assistant. "
i have so much to do
i have creativity pouring out of me at the moment. i have so many posts i want to write, things i want to write about and pieces i want to make. every day is just going to be a process of getting as much out as well as still taking in more and having new experiences. im so excited about the artistic journey ahead of me. my best friend said to me last night; “some people have to live their life as art and be extreme and burn brighter than others to show people something about themselves. thats what i think of you when you are at your best. your most honest. and fearless. when you are doing things cos you love you not cos you hate you.” it was the most beautiful, succinct summary of how i feel i need and want to live my life. it is a statement about me that im wildly proud of cause that is who i want to be and what i want to do. and it is why i am here, sharing all of this rawness with you. every single element of my life is curated by me to be exactly what i want and what I, think it should be. my life is the piece of art i am trying to capture through any media i see fit. i have fought for my right to live my life as i have. it hasnt been an easy journey. and its not going to be smooth sailing from now, far from it. but it sure as hell is worth it. and hopefully through me living my life to my fullest i can share things with people and help people in ways that i wouldnt if i had denied my calling and tried to… Read More "i have so much to do"
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