Without language, is there consciousness? To me there only seems to be awareness and memory. Memory, which is the back catalogue of moments of awareness. I had so much space and silence inside me on the drive home. My body feels so still and aligned. When I move I have constant ideas or complete awareness. When I come to communicate either experience, it seems so insignificant, ephemeral, small, compared to the sensation inside me. It is hard writing about language. But when the concepts flow through me it seems so obvious and simple. Can language capture the experience of awareness? How can “nothing” be so full of everything. Everything is nothing. In nothing is everything. To feel everything without language is nothing. It is vast space. Silence. Comfort. Euphoria. Contentment. Awareness. It is that what is right now, is enough. It is more than enough. It is over flowing. It… Read More "Language Consciousness"
If you Haven’t…then Don’t Fucking Speak To Me
There is a reason I speak about things. I know. From experience. First hand. Many more truths than you can comprehend. Unless you too have the same quantity and quality of first hand experiences, you have absolutely nothing to say, or offer me. I’ll add your data to my information pool, but it won’t change anything I have to say, or disprove anything I have done and know. You are nothing. You are a point in an expansive data set that is my brain. So if you want to scream your differeing opinion or attack me about how I’m wrong, link me to your 15 years of writing, research and relevant experience, or set up your own platform and articulate your points, create, cause you cannot effect what I make or do, your experience of the world is up to you. I see your projection and low IQ takes. You… Read More "If you Haven’t…then Don’t Fucking Speak To Me"
In the Bus
Out with Kitty and Bussy for a reset after my trip to England. A bit lost in life. But finding myself in the spaces. A lot of my struggles can be relieved by soothing my body. Letting it relax, expand, dropping fight or flight responses. Only then can I find the freedom in my humanity. Read More "In the Bus"

Fear Of Life by Alexander Lowen
“There are many roles that people play and many images that they project. There is, for example, the “nice” man who is always smiling and agreeable. “Such a nice man,” people say. “He never gets angry.” The facade always covers its opposite expression. Inside, such a person is full of rage that he dares not acknowledge or show. Some men put up a tough exterior to hide a very sensitive, childlike quality. Even failure can be a role. Many masochistic characters engage in the game of failure to cover an inner feeling of superiority. An outward show of superiority could bring down on them the jealous wrath of the father and the threat of castration. As long as they act like failures they can retain some sexuality, since they are not a threat to her father.”― Alexander Lowen, Fear Of Life “While the repression of a memory is a psychological process, the… Read More "Fear Of Life by Alexander Lowen"
The Mind Alone Cannot Produce Effective Solutions
If you are disconnected from, or deny your body, you will never get to experience, understand or even comprehend the true human experience. It does not matter how much you master your mind, understand language and comprehend complex ideas, you can never know what it is to be human until you master your body. You master your mind, to free your inner child, the witness. But unless you fix the muscle, sinews, tendons, facia and skin in-between the inner child and outer self, you cannot know what it is like for that inner child to truly run free in reality. The body, is no mind. It is no language. It is no narrative. It is no words. It is the cat, lying in the sun, reveling in the experience of existing in its physical body. There is no future. There is no past. There is only the body. The only… Read More "The Mind Alone Cannot Produce Effective Solutions"
the degnereation of ideas
All good ideas fail once filtered through the low IQ masses. Read More "the degnereation of ideas"
I am constantly trying to create more than I destroy. It is so easy to be distainful. Its so much more pleasurable to support. Contribute good ideas instead of critique, no matter how good you think that critique is. Read More ""
Being A Human Is Easy
I am getting sick of seeing people online advocating for shit. Basic as fuck shit. Like today I saw some woman, like my age, “proving” that clothes stores don’t have uniform sizing. Holy. Fucking. 1995. What the fuck has she been doing the last 30 years?! How does she think this is worth bringing up?! Griping over everyday reality. The call for more gay rights?More rights for what?! Women, what is it that you can’t do in 2023? What is it that black, asian, Irish, Jewish or any other victim race can’t do? Women without kids, if you are so happy, why do you need to make videos to tell everyone you are happy and it’s not like others think. Erm. Someone who is happy doesn’t need others to agree with them. Someone who is living a certain way does not need to advocate that people need to be allowed/encouraged/represented,… Read More "Being A Human Is Easy"
Happy Childless, If Not For The Others…Mothers.
This is just more proof for me as to why I don’t get on with most people. Most women. I am so different from the majority in all major factors, so add them all up and I really am rare in my perspective and experience on this planet. In terms of women who think the same as me re children, I am the same as the 10% of women who don;t want children who havent had them. Most women who haven’t had them, want them. I cannot comprehend. Out of the happy childless women, how many are age appropriate as a friend, how many are sex workers, how many are artists aswell, how many are loners, how many live in the wilderness? I would imagine HC women will have similar interests or ways of life cause of all the reasons they are HC will affect what interest we have. But… Read More "Happy Childless, If Not For The Others…Mothers."
Don’t take offense, half the country is on meth.
Pace
Im trying to adjust my pace to reality. Slow down. No immediate news, updates, other people. Just me. My thoughts. Me enjoying reality as it is, not just feeling good cause I’m isolating and controlling. Always remembering the bigger picture. The chance of being alive for this moment in infinity. 90s pace. Cause I fucking love tv. But books. And music. Stay in my body. Write what I know deeply. No need to be responding to the stuff that is intentionally spread to diss tract and control. Read More "Pace"
Joe Rogan Ancient Egypt
This stuff makes me want to appreciate life and getting to witness this planet. Read More "Joe Rogan Ancient Egypt"
Neuroscience Meets Psychology | Dr. Andrew Huberman
This podcast goes into the neurobiological processes behind the concepts I am exploring about the body and how we experience the world. I believe a lot of what we “feel” is actually much more heavily rooted in the body then most people know. These two men know. A lot of my knowledge and information on the body, and mind, has come to me organically through personal exploration and growth, so its always nice to find professionals validating my ideas. It also means I’m not crazy!!! How your body feels is how your mind experiences the world. If you can learn to master the “mind” that controls your body (Insular Cortex), you can control the nervous system, which frees the “conscious” mind (prefrontal cortex) to operate from a place of wisdom, multiple view points, various lenses, the void. Read More "Neuroscience Meets Psychology | Dr. Andrew Huberman"
The Root
The majority of people hate their bodies. They hate their sexed animal body. They hate their innate drives. They hate how little control they have over their bodies. They hate the difference between their minds and their bodies. They hate how they are judged for their bodies. They hate carrying a meat sack around. Enlightenment so far has been thought of as mental, spiritual, out of body, higher, escaping physical reality, male. That is why no one has achieved a state of being akin to enlightenment or godliness. We are physical forms. The enlightenment is inward. It is physical, it is mastery of the mind to let the body be free. It is the mind that we must escape. The real enlightenment is bodily, female, real, present, grounded, euphoric in physical reality. The biggest block and the foundational stone of the badly domesticated human is their denial of sex. The… Read More "The Root"
Rising Above The Dialectic
We live in a time of informational super abundance. But the throttle is in the “ego”, your perspective, yourself, getting in the way. You think the structure of information you have consumed from birth is reality. You only hold shape as a person in relation to it. But that is not true. You exist as a conscious entity outside of programming. You can unlearn your perspective. You can realize someone who has been given the exact opposite information to you, is a good, kind, happy, whole person who is valid in their perspective. Once you get it, then all of a sudden, it floods in. You realize, everyone is valid in their own perspective. That means there are billions of perspectives on reality all operating at once. No one perspective is right, no other is wrong, they just all are. In that space of acceptance, outside of perspective, is reality.… Read More "Rising Above The Dialectic"
A Simple Structure For Being Human In Modern Society.
Free Will And Self Sufficiency
17th October
