I Like Jeeping
My ex husband got me into it. Spent our tax return on doing up a jeep and left me before I got to have a trip in it. My ex were I am now was a off road guide. But also a total fuck boy who destroyed me. Glad you found a good one and actually get to have fun trips!!! I gotta get my own vehicle cause me and men = bad. Read More "I Like Jeeping"
“THE WILD RIDE OF #VANLIFE PORN”
Hungry for a taste of freedom, adventure and the open road, people are running full-blown camming empires from the backs of their decked-out camper vans …It’s a blazing summer afternoon in the western U.S. wilderness, and porn performer Sky Smith is giving me a virtual tour of her van. “I built it myself over nearly three months,” the 36-year-old says excitedly, panning the camera around the interior. “I’ve never been normal, I’ve always been odd and in my own bubble. And this is the epitome of living in my own bubble.” We are talking over a glitchy Google Meet session — Sky is in a deserted and undisclosed location, and her internet connection is temperamental — but I can just about make out the van’s key features. It’s a converted school short bus, complete with a small kitchenette, wardrobe and double bed. There is also a portable toilet (“I’ve had some very scenic poos”), a fridge (“the bane of my fucking life, it takes up so much energy”) and a solitary cowboy hat, perched on an otherwise empty shelf (“my good old hat, for vibes”). It seems idyllic: a cosy living space, decorated with blue bunting and inviting blankets, parked up in some remote, panoramic countryside. But it’s in Sky’s bed that the real magic happens — after all, that’s where her most popular cam work takes place. “My main video style is me getting too horny and having to really fuck myself good with a dildo,” she says, gesturing vaguely at the bed. “But I’m also into small penis humiliation and pegging. A lot of guys want to get fucked in the back of this bus.” DOMINIQUE SISLEY Read More "“THE WILD RIDE OF #VANLIFE PORN”"
January 22nd 2018
ive been with my mom, around people, in busy towns, cities, campsites, beaches, doing things for the last 4 weeks and its time for a break. i was feeling grubby today on my way to starbucks and then the beach. when i realised i only feel grubby cause im in cities and around city and town people, not country people who generally are dirty from work. ive also been in very posh and mostly white areas too. not much poverty around these parts. i miss being away from the cities. where trivial stuff matters less. where i feel less judged. where i dont feel the constant pressure to spend money, consume, shop, partake. its a constant onslaught of the senses. i have lived in the biggest cities in england for the first 26 years of my life but since leaving them and spending more and more time in the countryside, small towns and villages, and mostly, the wilderness, i havent wanted to go back. The only city ive lived in since i left london was las vegas. and that isnt a normal kind of city. it runs on fun, pleasure, tourism, excitement, experiences. working there is being a part of a system that provideds millions of people with a dream, a getaway, a world unlike any other. the city doesnt have hoards of paper pushers and bullshit jobs. its a service city. everyone is a entertainer. obviously i know there are still normal, non tourist/service jobs there. but its those service jobs that are the backbone of society, not just services propping up a city of paper pushers or tech workers. Read More "January 22nd 2018"
ive been in a bit of a funk the last few weeks. i have been struggling to feel like myself and adjusting to spending all my time with family after just getting used to being alone and figuring out who i am and what i want. i struggle to adjust and i struggle with how i behave in this adjustment period. i have just re read the writing ive done since ive been with family and its a lot of me explaining myself and asking why things are the way they are. i didnt enjoy re reading them and thought they sounded very juvenile. my friend warned me that we regress when we are with family and i thought id gotten to a place where this wouldnt happen again. but it kind of has. i have 6 weeks more of vacation here where i get to enjoy a leisurely day to day. 6 weeks till i have to start doing my next real life again. where i get to put more of my ideas into practice. we have been driving all over southern florida. back and forth. down the the keys. and camping in state parks. we have seen lots of stuff and not done much. basically bus life. which was the point. i worry about my lack of productivity. but i cant really turn on that side of myself when im around family. i did back in england a bit. but it took me months to get that comfortable. im barely comfortable fitting that work/lifestyle in bus life at all. so its understandable. but i still worry about letting the motivation slip away. will i be able to flick a switch and have that part of me back when i want and need it? it was gone for a… Read More "9th January"
dont tread on me
living in america is a constant onslaught of things, people and ideas that threaten who i am. i face a daily barrage of situations and events that make me question everything about the world i live in and what i thought i knew and what i think of as right or wrong. the people and the places are so diverse that it has created infinite differences in each person. no two people experience any one thing the same. im sat here in starbucks. a busy one. and a fat old white man in the corner has a radio station playing on his phone at full volume. a man sat around the corner could hear it. we can all hear it. it is intruding upon every single one of our lives. because of what that fat idiot thinks is ok. everyone thinks different things are important and are offended by different things so almost every interaction is negative for someone when another person is expressing what they are ok with. there is no common behaviour that everyone observes in order to create less impact and intrusion on the lives of people around us. there is no standard manners. no common courtesy. no mutual understanding that we are living in an ever busy and intrusive world and we should all contribute to create the least impact we can on our fellow people. i used to be disgusted by what i thought was the mentality behind the “dont tread on me” merch people have. but over only a few months of moving around america, i feel like i am heading towards thinking exactly that. dont tread on me motherfuckers. every single one of you obnoxious self important pricks who dont have any concept of the societal disease they are and are spreading to… Read More "dont tread on me"
i havent finished any of my writing in the past few weeks so i havent posted anything. i was sick for a couple of weeks after san fran and it threw me off. and im also driving across the country for the first time so a lot of my brain is being taken up just taking in all the sights and new information and driving. i just parked at rutherford beach in Louisiana. its beautiful. white sand, lapping waves, oil rigs on the horizon and no one around. i came down here to try to earn some money on webcam and do some writing and just be settled somewhere for a couple of days. ive driven 2500 over the last 4 weeks and havent stayed in the same place for more than 2 nights. i just want to stop!!! Bus life is about being able to travel but i havent stopped driving since i got her. i am exhausted. the plan was to settle down into a routine of going off to a spot for a week or two then moving via a town to pick up supplies and interact with people. this has not happened. ive also decided exactly how i want my life to be now in terms of making money, where i want to spend my time, how to use my money, basically how to have the life i have wanted for a long time. i got side tract from it for the past few years but i know what i want again now. but i have to wait a few months before i can put it in to practice. which is very frustrating for me. because im all about immediate gratification. i act on my ideas. i dont wait and plan. so im feeling a bit frustrated… Read More "12th December"
December 3rd, Sunday
i’m topless on the roof of my bus on the desert in arizona. i finally left california today on my way to miami. i spent a week in san fran in the end. i had 4 days of fun and 3 days of being exhausted and sick. i spent 2 nights parked at fishermans wharf which was noisy, a couple of nights parked around the tenderloin, which was noisy, and then a couple down on the ocean front. i had sex with 6 people. i went on a nice hike along the bay to the golden gate bridge. and i started cooking my own food again. sf is definately where i can go back to if i ever need to find people with like minded sexualities. ive never encountered so many straight men who want to suck cock openly. half the people on tinder have “poly” or “pan” somewhere in their bio. and i got to fulfil several fantasies i started writing a post about my first nights in sf, so i will go back and carry on with that and then write about the others Read More "December 3rd, Sunday"
Apt. I am feeling black. I havent written in a negative mood yet and i need to. it is a feeling that is with me as often as the joy, happiness and peace i feel. Actually I think i still find myself feeling dark more than half the time still. I think i need to sign off dating apps now too. i announced my hatred of social media and my leaving it behind today. The more i try and connect to other people, find like minded people, or look at what other people are doing similar to me, the more i feel like im alone. The less similar i feel. The more frustrated i get that the vast majority of people will never understand the world the way i do or want to live in it the way i do, the less excited about my own choices i am. The more i try and find my place and people, the less i can imagine ever having it. The more i hear about what other people think about the world and how other people should and shouldnt be in it, the more trapped I feel and the less i feel like i can survive another day and it all but wipes out my ability to picture, plan or even imagine my future. I stopped posting on social media and reading feeds every day approximately 3-4 months ago now. And I feel so much better. Right here, right now, in the real world, i am ok. when i had a whole other identity…and in fact i had two and up to four versions of me at any one time…living online, I had to worry about how that person was being perceived, what she was saying, who was contacting her, what for, what… Read More "Black Friday"
Another Day, Another Collection of Thoughts.
Day 10 on the sex drought. The last guy i rejected has cursed me. The failed date I drove to pick up and then just didnt like. I had such high hopes. And such blue balls. And I havent had a release since. Well Ive cum alot. Just only by my own hand. And that isnt what i need. I need some weird, kinky, extreme, exciting sex. I now have over 200-250 emails. And a offer from the cutest boy on my Tinder. But its STILL not happening. So I guess it is me now. Am I being picky? Ive emailed with a few of them, but nothing has progressed. When it works, it just works, with all the people i meet. Craigslist isnt helping me either. It cock blocked my last two posts about the specific kinks i want to explore right now. More specifically, soomeone now keeps flagging my posts and they keep getting removed, because apparently i cant be real, must be a scam or are violating their conditions by being really horny and wanting to get laid in a interesting and specific way. The upshot is, I still havent gotten laid. There is alot of comments I could make and conclusions i can draw from the kind of emails i have recieved over the past 48 hours, but i havent learnt anything I didnt already know. I am going to start compiling my thougths on things outside of my own life, like this, into essays. Just so i do it. Keep them for myself. i have started a list of topics i already have ideas for. Ok I have just solved my own sexual frustration problem. Im going to a sex club in San Fran tonight. Alone. Fuck it. I need to be around this stuff.… Read More "Another Day, Another Collection of Thoughts."
Craigslist Personals: Desperate Times.
i often stop writing half way through what i was saying. I get bored of the story so I dont push it. yesterday my obsession with sex took over. i spent the whole day looking up people online, messaging a couple of people on t/b (gonna have to abbreviate that shit or come up with a universal name for them that isnt “dating apps” maybe DAs). I even ventured on to craigslists casual encounters section. I expected it to be filled with adverts for massage and escorts, but instead there were mostly just posts from people looking for certain sexual experiences, right now. the more i read, the more i was thinking it might work for me if i posted what i wanted. my frustration was building so much that by about 5pm i posted my first ad on craigslist. 19 hours later i have nearly 150 replies and I’m slightly overwhelmed, still incredibly frustrated and I still havent gotten any sex. Very laid back and experienced Brit looking for experienced, kinky men – w4mm Dominant, experienced, very open, non judgmental woman looking for a man/men/bi men to help me shake off some pent up sexual energy. I’m currently particularly interested in: MMF; Bi MMF; Cuckold; Alpha in the street, sub in the sheets!; Rimming; Pegging; Cum eaters; Taboo roleplays; Gangbangs; DP. I am looking to play this week. If you’ve read this far and think you, or you and all your friends, might be up to the task, please email with the subject “I want” and include in your message what you want to get up to, your experience, a dick pic and a face pic. I will need you to be able to host. I think the problem is figuring out who i get turned on by, from just… Read More "Craigslist Personals: Desperate Times."