Out with Kitty and Bussy for a reset after my trip to England. A bit lost in life. But finding myself in the spaces. A lot of my struggles can be relieved by soothing my body. Letting it relax, expand, dropping fight or flight responses. Only then can I find the freedom in my humanity. Read More "In the Bus"
My ex husband got me into it. Spent our tax return on doing up a jeep and left me before I got to have a trip in it. My ex were I am now was a off road guide. But also a total fuck boy who destroyed me. Glad you found a good one and actually get to have fun trips!!! I gotta get my own vehicle cause me and men = bad. Read More "I Like Jeeping"
Hungry for a taste of freedom, adventure and the open road, people are running full-blown camming empires from the backs of their decked-out camper vans …It’s a blazing summer afternoon in the western U.S. wilderness, and porn performer Sky Smith is giving me a virtual tour of her van. “I built it myself over nearly three months,” the 36-year-old says excitedly, panning the camera around the interior. “I’ve never been normal, I’ve always been odd and in my own bubble. And this is the epitome of living in my own bubble.” We are talking over a glitchy Google Meet session — Sky is in a deserted and undisclosed location, and her internet connection is temperamental — but I can just about make out the van’s key features. It’s a converted school short bus, complete with a small kitchenette, wardrobe and double bed. There is also a portable toilet (“I’ve had some very… Read More "“THE WILD RIDE OF #VANLIFE PORN”"
ive been with my mom, around people, in busy towns, cities, campsites, beaches, doing things for the last 4 weeks and its time for a break. i was feeling grubby today on my way to starbucks and then the beach. when i realised i only feel grubby cause im in cities and around city and town people, not country people who generally are dirty from work. ive also been in very posh and mostly white areas too. not much poverty around these parts. i miss being away from the cities. where trivial stuff matters less. where i feel less judged. where i dont feel the constant pressure to spend money, consume, shop, partake. its a constant onslaught of the senses. i have lived in the biggest cities in england for the first 26 years of my life but since leaving them and spending more and more time in the countryside,… Read More "January 22nd 2018"
ive been in a bit of a funk the last few weeks. i have been struggling to feel like myself and adjusting to spending all my time with family after just getting used to being alone and figuring out who i am and what i want. i struggle to adjust and i struggle with how i behave in this adjustment period. i have just re read the writing ive done since ive been with family and its a lot of me explaining myself and asking why things are the way they are. i didnt enjoy re reading them and thought they sounded very juvenile. my friend warned me that we regress when we are with family and i thought id gotten to a place where this wouldnt happen again. but it kind of has. i have 6 weeks more of vacation here where i get to enjoy a leisurely day… Read More "9th January"
living in america is a constant onslaught of things, people and ideas that threaten who i am. i face a daily barrage of situations and events that make me question everything about the world i live in and what i thought i knew and what i think of as right or wrong. the people and the places are so diverse that it has created infinite differences in each person. no two people experience any one thing the same. im sat here in starbucks. a busy one. and a fat old white man in the corner has a radio station playing on his phone at full volume. a man sat around the corner could hear it. we can all hear it. it is intruding upon every single one of our lives. because of what that fat idiot thinks is ok. everyone thinks different things are important and are offended by different… Read More "dont tread on me"
i havent finished any of my writing in the past few weeks so i havent posted anything. i was sick for a couple of weeks after san fran and it threw me off. and im also driving across the country for the first time so a lot of my brain is being taken up just taking in all the sights and new information and driving. i just parked at rutherford beach in Louisiana. its beautiful. white sand, lapping waves, oil rigs on the horizon and no one around. i came down here to try to earn some money on webcam and do some writing and just be settled somewhere for a couple of days. ive driven 2500 over the last 4 weeks and havent stayed in the same place for more than 2 nights. i just want to stop!!! Bus life is about being able to travel but i havent stopped… Read More "12th December"
i’m topless on the roof of my bus on the desert in arizona. i finally left california today on my way to miami. i spent a week in san fran in the end. i had 4 days of fun and 3 days of being exhausted and sick. i spent 2 nights parked at fishermans wharf which was noisy, a couple of nights parked around the tenderloin, which was noisy, and then a couple down on the ocean front. i had sex with 6 people. i went on a nice hike along the bay to the golden gate bridge. and i started cooking my own food again. sf is definately where i can go back to if i ever need to find people with like minded sexualities. ive never encountered so many straight men who want to suck cock openly. half the people on tinder have “poly” or “pan” somewhere in… Read More "December 3rd, Sunday"
Apt. I am feeling black. I havent written in a negative mood yet and i need to. it is a feeling that is with me as often as the joy, happiness and peace i feel. Actually I think i still find myself feeling dark more than half the time still. I think i need to sign off dating apps now too. i announced my hatred of social media and my leaving it behind today. The more i try and connect to other people, find like minded people, or look at what other people are doing similar to me, the more i feel like im alone. The less similar i feel. The more frustrated i get that the vast majority of people will never understand the world the way i do or want to live in it the way i do, the less excited about my own choices i am. The… Read More "Black Friday"
Day 10 on the sex drought. The last guy i rejected has cursed me. The failed date I drove to pick up and then just didnt like. I had such high hopes. And such blue balls. And I havent had a release since. Well Ive cum alot. Just only by my own hand. And that isnt what i need. I need some weird, kinky, extreme, exciting sex. I now have over 200-250 emails. And a offer from the cutest boy on my Tinder. But its STILL not happening. So I guess it is me now. Am I being picky? Ive emailed with a few of them, but nothing has progressed. When it works, it just works, with all the people i meet. Craigslist isnt helping me either. It cock blocked my last two posts about the specific kinks i want to explore right now. More specifically, soomeone now keeps flagging… Read More "Another Day, Another Collection of Thoughts."