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Women Are Still Fucked
I have got a lot to sort out and put in order in relation to my realisation that we clearly do still need feminism or some kind of womens rights, cause of everything from Andrew Tate, to Dana White hitting his wife, to shaming women in the gym for feeling threatened, or all the other litany of examples.
Feminism shit. Feminism is shit. Everyone hates it. It has done more harm than good.
Well, not entirely. It got women equal rights, in law, and protection as a sex class, due to our capacity to reproduce and the risk that puts us in from the other sex class. But feminism demanded to make the body political, to make culture political, to be seen as equal, to have the right to medical procedures. It went too far. The mainstream lags behind the artists, comedians, writers, philosophers, film makers…creatives, by 20 – 100 years, the alternative scene a few years between. By the time the creative vision is filtered through the alternative scene and their slightly less nuanced, slightly misinterpreted, slightly twisted to fit their personal style, translation of the original ideas it has clearly lost some of the genius. Then these ideas, styles, knowledge, music, lifestyle, get passed out to the masses once the corporations have decided how to monetize the “next big thing” they seen in the alternative scenes. That is how we end up with “feminist” t-shirts in Target and 50% of men expressing their hatred of women even more publicly than before the third wave feminism went mainstream. Its how everyone is vomiting rainbows. Its how good ideas fail. And how the rejection of the idea proves even more, the need for the original creative vision.
There is no current specific “wave” of feminism. More now has it just broken down into more specific directions of feminism. Socialist, Intersectional, Gender Critical, Radical, and probably many more. The problems go back to before a fracturing. Yes. There are different types of women. But guess what feminism is for? Women. If you aren’t one, it doesn’t apply. If you are, it does. It needs to be that simple and universal.
Simple things like the single woman rule. If a woman is on her own, do not approach her. She can approach you if she needs help, assistance or to communicate at all. But under no circumstances, does a man need to approach a woman who is going about her life in public alone.
A right to know and understand your sexed female body, through all its ages and stages, and how to be embodied.
A culture that supports and nurtures an environment for familes to thrive.
A right to female only spaces.
A culture that supports and promotes the reality of how to perform any of our many roles in the world well. Well, meaning you provide the function of the role to a first principle standard.
Abortion laws need to be abolished, along with any other law that attempts to exert control over the adult body. If a doctor wants to dedicate their life to killing babies, then they can deal with the consequences. Same as a doctor cutting up a womans arm to give her a fake penis is allowed. If you are pro life, you don’t need to go to doctors or hospitals that offer abortion as there will be just as many that don’t. The free market and individual concious born of culture will decide.
Men continue to rape and abuse women because no one hears about the reality of most women enough. Enough women have NOT said what has happened to them. The ones that do are often sensational, in terms of fame or perpetrator or extremes of violence, or grey areas, in terms of frat party slut regret. I think my essay on why its yes all men to me, is the kind of stories that need repeating over and over again. It’s the stories of women whos husbands or partners have fucked them in their sleep. It’s the casual sexual harrasment in crowded places. It’s someone you know. It’s this bloke who looks totally normal. It’s your son. It IS your brother. ETC. 25% of men would rape, at LEAST. And 20% of them don’t even think what they have done is rape. Men don’t think their actions are criminal. More of a conversation and more reality and honesty is needed. With a first principles approach to sex and the body, society and culture could change the narrative around sex to the extent that concious individuals will not be able to do things that violate another human. They are more likely to be less disfunctional humans. Feminists won’t ever be able to address or appropriately fight male violence against women until they are willing to come to terms with the fact that they are a sexed human animal and learn to become embodied. They have to drop the fear and narratives around their bodies. The cultural conditioning, shame, pain, guilt, hate, fear, resentment, jealousy, that all stems from the disconnection of most women from their bodies. I bet even reading this, half the women will still be offended and defensive about these claims. Any reaction anyone has to me or my ideas just highlights what that persons weak spot is for me. It says nothing about my ideas or thoughts. It is purely a reflection of their insecurities. And I can read it in most people from a mile off. So women won’t be able to stop MVAW without first stopping their own mental and physical violence against their OWN bodies. This is not a political or legal solution. Feminism should NEVER have made the body political. Obviously rape is a crime. But most rapes could be eradicated through a new perspective on sexed human bodies.
Common sense reality for women. Femalism. Womens rights. Something is still needed. But politics and law are not the answer. A reckoning with what it means to have a sexed female body and being female, in relation to the male, other females, your children, family and community. A reckoning for what it means to have a sexed male body and how to master it and harness its power for the better of yourself, family and community. An understanding that both sexes are needed to be funtioning to their full potential for the human race to flourish in the future. The grace to accept the other and the space to enjoy our differences. Freedom comes from structure and a funtional human. A funtional human is free to live however they want to be. But there is a limited way to be funtionally free.Categories Feminism, social bodyTags essays, ideas
In most cases family is better for a child than the state. Many feminists on the left see the state as a benevolent parent, I do not. Why would anyone give their child to be guided by the state? Why is asking questions about that so enraging for these busy “feminists”? https://twitter.com/ThePosieParker/status/1633799220200108034Categories Autobiography, Feminism
This Confused Girl Says “Like” 1 Million Times…but She’s Not Wrong https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aK2Txz1PoaACategories Autobiography, Feminism, Gender Critical
If I don’t have a penis or strip am I still a woman? #BillyBragg #KJintheUSA #letwomenspeak #st… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-0maHrub7wCategories Autobiography, Feminism, Gender Critical
Happy Childless, If Not For The Others…Mothers.
This is just more proof for me as to why I don’t get on with most people. Most women. I am so different from the majority in all major factors, so add them all up and I really am rare in my perspective and experience on this planet. In terms of women who think the same as me re children, I am the same as the 10% of women who don;t want children who havent had them. Most women who haven’t had them, want them. I cannot comprehend. Out of the happy childless women, how many are age appropriate as a friend, how many are sex workers, how many are artists aswell, how many are loners, how many live in the wilderness? I would imagine HC women will have similar interests or ways of life cause of all the reasons they are HC will affect what interest we have. But finding each other in the same place, at the same time, who are able to interact and WANT to know anyone, I don;t. So when women don’t get me, don;t like me, think I’m hard or mean, they need to realize they are basically a different species. I am not the same as you. I cannot imagine wanting to care full time for other people. I am too important to be the last thing on my priority list. I would not want to believe that what I do bringing up a child wont have a impact on them and the world in a negative way for the rest of their lives. I can’t imagine not being able to say no ever again. I cannot imagine the heartbreak of your baby becoming a teenager and suddenly hating you. The pain and the trauma and the drama and the immersion in the daily minutia of other peoples perspective. Exhausting. Just doing that for me is hard enough. I feel like I’m managing a whole team or system of people just to keep me going. I freeze over every major decision as I am so aware of the potential consequensene I get decision paralazyz, I cannot imagine how hard it would be making decisions that will mold how another human experiences the world. The fact we just let anybody pop one out and do that blows my mind. No child has the right to a good upbringing in this world. And it shocks the shit out of me. We know the devestating consequences of bad parenting and even the huge and often devestating effect of absent parents or even “good” parents who have imparted bad ideas/unhealthy coping mechanisms, or didn’t teach their child how to cope as life was too good, can have. Yet nothing is being done to stop it. There should be standards to be met and specific knowledge, skills and understandings that should be universally applied. But hey, I don;t have to worry about it. I just have to live in a world where the consequencess of all the varieties of parenting are inflicted on me to the extent I can no longer cope with it and have become a hermit. I like people. I hate how they have been raised, domesticated and parented. So it does affect me and I do have a right to care about what all these women who aren’t like me, are doing to their children. I don;t like their minds. But I’m the odd one out who has to suffer their inadequasies and insecurities. Bad Mothers are real and its time to start exploring how far reaching the effect and conesequences of it are.Categories Autobiography, Evolving Humanimal, Feminism, social bodyTags ideas
Free Will And Self SufficiencyCategories Art, Autobiography, Bus Life, Evolving Humanimal, Feminism, Life, Mental Health, Sex Life, Sex Work, social body, The Body, The WildTags ideas
The Abortion Fallacy
Oh noooooo. Roe V Wade has fallen.
Women aren’t whole people.
Women will die.
Women will be forced gestators.
Abortion is banned.
Ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage will get you arrested.
Abortion rights are human rights.
My body My choice.
Women can never be equal without access to abortion.
Men are legislating our bodies.
Women will die.
This is awful, lets all just stand in the streets, scream and cry.
Hopefully a riot will get our rights back.
Oh Shut the front door. This is ALL lies. It is now a week after the decision came down that it is not the federal governments right to legislate our bodies. What? You mean the supreme court said….your body your choice? Yeah. So why is everyone so mad? This is what is driving me crazy. The amount of drama, hyperbole, lies and fear mongering are causing women all over the world to be freaking out about all the above statements. I heard 3 different men on Friday, who had read the whole judgement and are pro choice, explain it all, read all the opinions and summarized it with glee. And even from their perspective, I knew it wasn’t a bad ruling. A week later and I’ve only seen one article from the left, covering what is in the judgement and not just screaming about things that it didn’t say. It was written by a lawyer, and it was still mostly their opinion. The article stated it was a 200 page legal document so is very confusing and obviously no one will have read it yet…..what?! I heard from 3 MEN who had read it and interpreted it for an audience, the morning of its release. Why wasn’t the left/pro abortionists doing the same. If they really cared about women, like they claim to, when they know what a woman is, they would have politicians, celebrities, and the media explaining exactly what this means, and what the specific laws in each state are. In stead, they want you to be angry, scared and un informed.Categories Autobiography, Feminism, The BodyTags essays, ideas
Red Pilled Pro Lifer
My Body. My Responsibility
The Failure Of Sex Work is Work and Third Wave Feminism
No More Feminism
The Failure Of Sex Work is Work and Third Wave Feminism
The Middle: The Human Sexual Reality Between Religion and Sex Passivity
Why I Dont Need The SJWs or RadFems To Save Me
Instead of wanting to tear down sex work and destroy and deny reality I am actively looking at a way to make it work based on reality and I try and do this every time I work, from what I share, how I do it and my boundaries within my work. Its hard work and life would be easier if I didnt, but I wouldnt be able to live with myself. And might as well do any other job that makes me hate myself, break down and get fired.
White Pill Sex Work
What Do I do?
I always emphasise that I am here for my pleasure as much as theirs, and that they are paying for the privilege of sharing that experience with me, an experienced, professional with the relevant knowledge to give them a quality experience they dont get every day.
One of the number one reasons I see people oppose sex work is that men are paying to cross womens boundaries. I, and other healthy, happy, sex workers dont have a boundary about letting “ugly” men fuck us, and the cash breaks that boundary. What is in fact going on is that we are quite comfortable fucking anyone, we enjoy it, in all their shapes and sizes, cause they are real people. But in this society where one needs to make money to live, and looks and sexuality are highly valued, it makes sense to monetize that reality of your boundaries. I love sex. I love that getting paid for sex means I get to interacrt with bodies I would never have had the opportunity to explore outside of the work.
Within the acts of sex however, we DO have boundaries, and these cannot be purchased or crossed. And the women who succeed and thrive in sex work are very clear about these to themselves and to their clients. Boundaries are also a sliding scale. For me there are some actions that require a premium, mostly cause I dont want to do them all the time in order to maintain physical health. For example, anal. A no go, no option boundary for me, and in ALL legal sex work is the use of condoms. For blow jobs, for cunnilingus, for any time the dick is hard in the professionals presence. He keeps his condom on while he licks the dental dam on my pussy. No, it isnt great for either of us, but it is a condition of the arrangement we accept in order for both of us to get our needs met physically and financially.
The women who do let cash cross their boundaries are the ones who suffer, who hate themselves, hate the clients, and leave the industry to wring their hands with the radical feminists or religious conservatives about the poor women. I am not a poor woman. I do not need saving. Those boundaries that I am perfectly happy with, give me a stronger sense of self than any of those people who had theirs crossed will ever find out of sex work. Its almost like talking about two entirely different spaces. And for me that is one of the central issues. No one should be doing work that makes them hate themselves.
I would never work in a office cause for me, paper pushing and the corporate world would make me hate myself. I value the freedom, a life of questioning the standard narrative have given me,
If sex work is to become the intimacy arts, the consensual boundaries thing needs to be taught to and be the fundamental understand of its process. STOP the narrative that clients are paying someone to do something they wouldn’t otherwise do, and emphasise the variety of boundaries that exist and why its normal. Eg, if someone wanted to work in a cuddle club but wanted no sexual work ever, then they could and should and would feel safe with that.
I have had at least 500 clients and never once did I have an issue with any of them. It was in Australia and the brothel culture is very normal there and the men understand the rules. Yet another example of clear rules meaning everyone can have fun and relax and that the work is mutually beneficial and non exploitative.
However I caveat that with, I did see a lot of other girls have problems with clients throught the years in all elements of sex work. However again, this shows me I am doing something, know something, or model to the clients, something that other people are not in these scenarios. That is why I want to analyise how I have lived my authentic belief in how sex and sex work should be and share the good, bad and the yet to improve, elements, what I see are the failures and signifiers of these failures in society and sex, and how I know they can be better. Not just for in sex work, but in all parts of the physical human experience and fix the core issue at the root of society and cultures failures, sex.
The central narrative that joins all people and cultures and society are the physical reality of our human bodies, all their functions, needs and wants included..
I dont know why people think our material reality is a bad thing, not enough etc.
being a human being is why we are valuable and all there is is our physical realityCategories Autobiography, Feminism, Sex WorkTags essays
Personality IS NOT gender!
The Agony Of Gender Woo In Schools
Sex Workers Should Help Fix Problematic Sex
The Misdirection Of Feminism
Finding Sexual Supremacy Through Celibacy
Well it has been a long time since Ive written and a lot has developed for me. I think its worth pointing out that I have spent the last 3 years working with multiple therapist for my mental health and working on fixing postural issues and trauma encoded in my body. During this process I have been diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. I relate heavily to the diagnosis of Asperger’s even though we arent supposed to call it that anymore. But it matters to me. Asperger’s is a very certain type of Autism that is mostly associated with men, and male genius, and male behavior that is actually normalized by society, where as a woman with Asperger’s is the opposite of what society says a woman should be. So in terms of people understanding me clearly, I think it important to identify with something that is typically considered male.
This has also been my journey with sexual devolopment. Taking on the role, attitude, performance or male sexuality in order to highlight how contradictory our male and female sexual narratives are.
Where I was at when I last wrote about this, was a place of burden. I knew sex was wrong. I knew the sex I had been having wasnt what I wanted. I had thought of how it might be different and with this knowledge I tried to have the sex I wanted by doing all the work. I would make them lay back while I indulged in their bodies for hours, and got a 5 min of standard foreplay in return. Ive helped men explore their interest in strap on and anal play, and got nothing in return. My pleasure was received by doing things I wanted to, even if it wasnt directly pleasurable for me. Pleasuring in a way that was heading towards something different in the hopes that they would mirror back to me an exploration and adventure into my body. It never happened. Never once.
The straw that broke the camels back was my last fuck buddy/boyf. I discolsed all my mental and physical needs, and yet within a matter of weeks, sex became a function for him to have an orgasm. A few minutes of pumping in the morning before he went to work. Me waking him up with a prostate massage, and him cumming and leaving. Spending hours giving pleasure, only to be touched with fear, uncertainty and disgust, in return. Fucking his ass, the thing that drew me to him the most, his sexy, sultry moves, sensuality and moans, all dissapeared into the function of him getting his the way he wanted. And after he would cum I would be left again, unattended to. All this made me feel sick to my stomach. His relationship skill was as retarted and selfish as his sexuality. So I cut him out of my life and didnt look back. Luckily it only took a couple of months to get rid of this weight dragging me down.
Since then I have prioritised me. I couldnt improve mentally or physically with toxic men leaching off me. So I made a conscious decision, with the assistance of the pandemic, to remain celebate until all the problems dick has caused me, have been resolved. As a single woman I am the queen of the world, unstoppable force of creativity and adventure. With a man around I am sick, tired, broken, weak, unable to get out of bed and intensely depressed. Welcome to another factor of being a Aspie. This time has lead me to realized how much I thrive and do when Im entirely alone and how bad other people make me feel. Instead of lowering myself to find men I could get a tiny bit of physical connection and reality from by giving everything and getting nothing, I decided to pour all that attention onto myself. Onto me as a sexual woman. Onto me who already gives a large part of myself and sexuality away proffessionally. I found I also do wayyy better on cam when I am single. All that sexaul desire gets funneled into work space where I can truly indulge in a kind of cyber sexual reaality where I get some of my needs met by working. I never found the right kind of men to play with in the real world. But online there are thousands who like the same shit as me. They arent worthy of me in real life, but getting paid to share my sexual reality is also my kink, so I get off.
Anyway. Work had been a reflection of the burden of good sex I was carrying. I was not there to be penetrated or used for a mans pleasure. They are my toys to use as I please. But the longer this went on, the more it felt like the last relationship, where the dynamic moved from my enjoyment to their using me for their pleasure. I was doing a lotttt of work in pegging shows, in shows where I lead. The man, just laying back, being given pleasure by an expert. That didnt feel like I was dominant, or alpha or in control. It felt like the games men play to get women to do things they think they want to but is ultimately for the mans pleasure (see lib feminism “twerking for daddy” isnt liberation, neither is waxing, or makeup or bdsm).
Some time in the last few months, I decided to put my resentment for men down. I consciously chose to rewrite the narrative I had of my relationship with men. I have many different narratives of my life or elements of myself, depending on what angle, mood, day, etc, one looks at me from. i.e. All men have abused me and used me, Im sick of giving anything to them.. What is also true is I fucked every hot dude I wanted, I love collecting sexual experiences and I love dick. A great realization in this process is “I love the male human animal, but I hate how he is domesticated and socialized in every part of this planet.”
I love the physical reality of men.
The physical reality of existence is where I am focused on living. Reality, not opinion, thoughts or feelings. But what is physically present in my presence. How my body feels in that reality. How bodies could interact when all there is is physical reality. If two or more bodies were present in the void, how would they want to interact. No narratives, no history, no baggage, no morals, no norms, no domestication.
This is where my idea for the man laying back while I spend hours exploring him came from. The naive, curious exploration of a new landscape you have no pre existing assumption or expectations of. This would be a beautiful experience if it is mutual. But for me it never has been. Even in the last relationship where my understanding was explained, the conditioning of the male sexual narrative was so strong that it automatically took over.
With work I have been able to continue along this line of inquiry about what I really want from female led sex. What really is female dominance or sexuality? What do I really want when I let go of all programming and the consideration of male pleasure.
Another useful starting point for me has been the awareness that a man will cum no matter what. Why do we need to do things to the penis that is about speeding up the male orgasm? Anything that speeds up a mans pleasure, reduces a womans. The woman doesnt need to worry about stimulating the male at all. His pleasure is so easily accessed that he need only focus on the woman and not himself.
Being fully present sexually is to be fully engrossed with what is in front of you. Not to be lost in your own brain. Your pleasure comes from being aware of the present. That includes the external body you are focused on as well as the sensations in your own body…but NOT the thoughts, feelings and opinion of what is happening. No mind. Only body.
I think my previous writings also came from a time of black and white thinking. When I decided what sex shouldnt be, I limited what sex could be. My own trauma and narratives on men limited me accessing a very important part of me, my hyper sexiality. Sex had become more one dimensional as there was only to be; enlightened, curious, slow sex. But that contradicted one of my fundamental understandings of the nature of female sexuality, our cyclical nature.
As I opened back up to accepting I like the male human animal, I started remembering how much I like 3somes, gangbangs and as much dick as possible. I started being more flexible with wanting a variety of things through my monthly cycle. At work I noticed there were times where it was really easy to be hypersexual, others where I just wanted to be mean, others where I wanted to be soft and sweet, other times I just didnt even feel horny for a week. If I accepted the male human gave me great pleasure in many ways, I would be able to drop into these different phases with enjoyment, as all valid, real parts of me. And parts that arent interchangeable. If a client saw me on a soft open day but came back in the mean phase, I cannot perform the sexuality of different phase. This is the acceptance of sexual reality, I stopeed fighting it. Stopped trying to be one dimensional. Stopped being so protective over my physicality.
From my research and interpretation, I believe the human race is a socio-sexual species. Intimacy was our main form of communication and was the core of our survival. The range of intimacy that would be possible among a group of wild humans would be impossible for most modern humans to imagine. The repertoire of touch and its meanings have been lost. But by indulging inthe cyclical nature of female sexuality there is a chance of reclaiming some.
So let me get specific about what Ive discovered about what my body wants.
Gangbangs. In my informed opinion, humans are a sperm competiotion speciea and not a species that competes physically for one woman. When a woman is at the height of ovulation one is wildly horny. For me persoanlly its a raging drive for as much cock as possible. It makes me think that is how men must feel all the time. It can be all consuming. The hunt for dick and the desire for many. As a sexually liberated woman, I have allowed myself to get these needs met many times in my life. I hae not denied or pusehd down my sexaul reality. When I wanted lots of cock, I got it. 10 at once is my most. And 12 total that night. And before I went out I said it was going to happen, I needed it.
This ovulatory desire for multiple dicks makes total sense when you realized we are a sperm competition species, along with the understanding of sexual vocalisation. The woman moans and vocalises to attract more men to the scene.
As sex would have been used as socialising, most sex/intimacy was out side of the ovulatory period. Men are always horny as womens cycles arent uniform. Men must be ready to group sex whenever a woman is ovulaing. All males in the group need to be ready for each woman. Thus mens more consistent sex drive. It is not cause the male of the species need more sex, it is that they need to be ready for when the women want it their way.
I would imagine womens cycles dont sync up so that all roles get filled in the group. Each part of the female cycle brings different strengths and weaknesses that would help each other and balance out.
Non reproductive sex would have been the relaxed, elongated, curious, lazy exploration of each others bodies. Here, instead of the man laying back while the woman explores, the man would have the same self control and curiosity of the woman. A great example of this play would be sliding a penis against a pussy, teasing with the tip, enjoying the feel of the shaft on the clit, the pressure against different parts. When I have done this while leading, on top, hands free, just enjoying the tease of wiggling on a cock, the man ALWAYS reaches down to “help” me get it inside. ERMMM no. I wasnt trying to get it in. I was enjoying the reality of how that felt. The more I tease the outside like that, the easier I cum. Given men can cum from a few pumps, why not let the woman build herself up in her way using a cock, so when she finally decides she wants it, she really actually does, and orgasm is accesible!
I cant comprehend how sex it would be for me to be laying back while a man teases me with his cock for MY pleasure. He isnt trying to make his cock feel good. He isnt a weak willed little bitch who has to get it in the hole as soon as possible. And like SO MANY men Ive fucked, doesnt use the excuse “I just couldnt help myself.” I cant imagine being able to trust a man to not penetrate me when he wants. And that fucking turns my stomach. But back to the fantasy of the wild hu-man. A man having self imposed self control is so fucking hot.
I am getting super over chastity and domme stuff cause of this. You shouldnt need a fucking cage not to be a gross perv. You should exercise self control. Learn how to NOT get a boner when youre turned on. Learn how to not want to pump your cock as fast as possible. Learn that cumming isnt the destination. Learn real self control. Women go into sex hoping they might cum. Men go into sex expecting to cum. This needs to change.
One time I went on a date with 45 year old film maker who only drank natural spring water and did reiki and was vegan. At his, he offered me a reiki session. I was clearly going through a hard time and he was intelligent and intuitive. He told me to relax and that he wouldnt stop till I said so. He covered me in blankets so I was warm and comfortable and for three hours he gently touched my body in entirely non sexual ways. That is the only experience Ive had where a man has done what he said and completely listened to me to the point that I could relax in his hands in the moment. I didnt need to be on guard to make sure my boundaries were crossed or my trauma triggered.
Previous partners would be uncomfortable, disgusted or scared by the changeable nature of my body and triggers.Their inability to change, be flexible and be open to a different experience each time is another reason no one deserves access to my body. If you arent willing to learn my cyclicality, you definately dont get to use my for your one dimensional sexuality. One day I might love having my neck kissed, the next it might send me into a breakdown. That is not something that I need to worry about hurting a mans EGO! My physical reality in the moment changes. If a man was present in the physical reality of the moment, he would be able to read and adapt. But if there is mind present, ego present, than it will cause a reaction in him which increases my trauma. Dont be angry or frustrated that I dont like something today I did yesterday. Be excited it can be different today than yesterday!!!!!
I ran out of energy for the awfulness of my experiences. Ill come back to it in another new piece.Categories Autobiography, Feminism, Sex Life, Sexual TheoryTags essays
Sexually Awakened Women
Is a slur to keep white women, who are sick of the patriarchy forcing them to be quiet about everything and finally got the balls to say something, in their place. In her rage at finally speaking, she is a woman who says the wrong thing and over reacts as most of the time, its a moment where the straw has broke the camels back, and she is speaking her mind for the first time. How dare she?! Fucking Karen. Women cant be angry, or aggressive when she is sick of shit. That’s not for white women. Women can’t have PTSD or trauma that gets triggered by some inconsiderate person invading their lives, especially if everyone else thinks she shouldn’t be triggered by whatever it was. Karen isn’t a light, playful meaningless term. It is yet another tool of the patriarchy to silence a woman who has the audacity to speak her mind, to get angry, to react authentically. Don’t normalize silencing women.Categories Autobiography, FeminismTags ideas
BDSM, Power Play and Sexual Reality
As a actual dominant human woman and not a performative domme, i know its not men taking the dominant role all the time. As a 20 year feminist writer, 10 year sex worker and a tantric practitioner I know sex isnt always just PIV.
The inclusion on power dynamics, that there even is a dom and sub when it comes to sex, is ingrained patriarchal and socialized conditioning. Power, violence, and psychological play have been injected into the modern definition of sex and kink by men and taken on by women to cope with the position sex has been put in the modern world. Sex has nothing to do with power or pain. Its the patriarchy that introduced that idea to sex. Whether its a woman, man, dog, gender rainbow person doing it, the performance of domination and submission is all about the feelings of power and powerlessness we have in the real world and not about the physical sensations of the sexual act.
One can do things like pegging, cei, cuckold, etc, all without humiliation, degradation, abuse, pain or any bdsm shit. Sex is a indulgent pleasure space. Shame, pain and humiliation and power are the brain forcing its way into a physical body space. I thought I liked being submissive in my 20s and that bdsm was a legit thing. I thought pain mixed in with my sex was the norm and meant it was good. Then I moved past that and saw where it comes from. And never will go back.
Anything that fetishizes a power dynamic comes from social conditioning and not human animal, sexual reality. I take the lead in all sex. Work or pleasure. Not cause Im Domme or the dominant, but because I have more experience, I know what I like and Im better at it. I am, after all a professional. I dont need the power trip of being Domme. And many many many many people think Dom/sub are the only options of how you like sex.
The belief that there is always a power dynamic in sex, shows how patriarchal the standard sexual narrative has become and how bdsm has shaped that in the publics view.Categories Autobiography, Feminism, Sexual TheoryTags ideas
The narrative that men dont express their emotions cause society says they cant, but actually its ok for men to have emotions, has been going on for so long its become a excuse for men to not work on their experience of the world or take responsibility for their actions.