stream of consciousness on my afternoon walk: It’s all just come to me. I can see everything now. I know who I am. Not who I thought I was. Or felt like I am. Or was made to feel like I was. Or imagined other people saw. I saw myself for real. Who I am and what I have done. Through MY eyes. A veil of darkness has been lifted and I can see myself and my life with genuine love and pride. I am EXACTLY who I want to be and my WHOLE life I have done exactly what I want. ALL of it. I am not, nor have I ever been a victim. He made me feel like a victim. He made me have to fight to be seen as a victim. He made me have to become only a victim. To prove how awful he was. He… Read More "i can see again"
i know for sure, 100% i just had the best sex of my life. with a stranger. i met him on the swinger site yesterday. he likes a woman in control and i have been wanting to flex my alpha muscles. we decided upon tease and denial, fluffy dom shit. he was really hot and lean, which is why i chose to see him first this week. he was gonna lie there and let me tease and edge him as long as i wanted and use his body for my pleasure. and that is exactly what i did. now, time out, this is now the time i come clean about all the times ive acted out, or been in, scenarios where i am using someone for my pleasure, but have in fact been putting on a act as the porn version of my sexuality, to make sure the men i… Read More "…had the best sex of my life"
im not going into sexual detail right now cause what i need to do is schedule the rest of my week to fit in all the fun im trying to have! i only have two nights or days can i do things. so im planning a variety of sneaky fun. this is who im trying to fit in: Bo – wants to be controlled. i want to tease and edge him for as long as i see fit. Ben – has a beautiful butt and body and wanna bury our faces in our butts Bill – just has a massive cock. it looks so amazing. i want to just be left to play with it how i want! Con – is hottt. we wanna try some kinky roleplay, currently deciding what exactly! Mr P – he came over last time and ate a strangers cum out my pussy before cumming… Read More "…joined a swingers website"
i want to be a sex professional. i want to help people with any sexual queries they may have and come up with sexual solutions to their problems. i want to help couples who aren’t sexually compatible be happy, practically and conceptually. i want to help people reach their sexual goals and fantasies. i want to teach people who want to know more, about sexual acts, naked confidence, sexual exploration and the ways it can all improve your general confidence and well being. i want to help people not feel ashamed about sex, sexuality and fetishes and bring it out of the shadows as and acceptable part of everyone’s life and being a well rounded human. i don’t want sex to hold anyone back or make their life’s difficult. i want to encourage sexual honesty, for yourself, your current and your future partners. Read More "Sex Professional"
i am not scared any more. Read More "i dont think im scared any more"
i am 32. i am currently staying with my mom in england, in my childhood bedroom. i have no car, no property and nothing of value materially. Read More "starting"
I keep thinking about writing at the moment when im high cause im letting my mind wander much more about the world around me than myself. its really enjoyable for me to process things and understand them. I was just thinking about how everyone sees russia as a threat cause they are just getting into the big money game and spreading it around the world. everyone expected it to be china to spread around the world first and they havent. So people are suspicious that asia is isolationist and only a few countries or places break out and link with the west. so china is a big threat cause of how much money they have over there compared to the western markets. in the west its gotten to the point where the people with all the money and power inherited it rather than worked for it and Russia and China… Read More "High Thoughts"
There are way way too many teenage girls on this site, some even younger who think its a good idea to sexualise their image in their bio pics or their stream. They wear clothes and dance in a way that could only be that way to entice men and boys to watch them. They are encouraging men to sexualise under age girls. They are their own worst enemy. They are SO SO unaware of themselves. They tell people their real names and dance in a way that even a woman of full legal age would be judged for. The are asking to be attacked, stalked or worse. This shouldn’t be encouraged. Other women need to teach girls how to use their woman hood in a positive way. Not lean on the basic fact that they are female and men want to take advantage of that. I have spent my life… Read More "LiveMe…Not OK"
I have decided its time to start making art again. I realised it is the best way for me to be me. It is why i am me. It is who i am. I can say what i want, how i want. After art school i didnt make anything. I had nothing to make art about. At goldsmiths i was able to fly against the traditions of their art course and students. But as soon as that need to rebel was gone i had nothing left use as fuel for my artistic fire. I thought i had left the art world forever. I considered myself entirely separated by early 2007. 10 years ago. I did not realise this. Ha so now i have decided to make again. I am going to use the media i have learnt to use over the past 10 years to ….share my adventure with people….and… Read More "Art 19th February 2017"
I am at work It is a Saturday but I dont have much to do. I could fill my time with clearing glasses but that isnt my job and i get it done so much faster than anyone else i end up being the main person doing it. I wanted to write last night. Or speak to the GoPro. But now I dont remember about what. Just mostly that I wanted to write. All i can think about at the moment is this stupid place and how badly ran and how bad the staff are. I wish i could write a report on the place for Read More "Pretending To Be Human"
So I thought I’d write this side of things down. I never have and I alwys think to. This may end up as nothing. But I feel like something is starting. Obviously I’m high riht now. Stupid Cheese! Makes me really over think evvvverrrything. Makes me depressed too. But anyway. I just had a mega high revelation that I wrote down to my GF. Alright. From the start then. I saw a dude at the gym last week and I was gone! I’d not been that into a stranger for a very very long time. I watched him the whole time in the gym and was so on edge. After I left I jumped right on Tinder and Bumble to see if he happened to be in my pile to be swiped as I have my location as only 1-2 miles and as we were both in the same room… Read More "Kate, I Met A Boy"
i have been back in england for a month now and im finally settling in again. ive had 3 tinder dates and i am in extremely horny week. and the last one made me giggle. so as several of you joined me yesterday, i thought now was as good a time as any to start my writing again. i have a whole book to write so i might as well get on with it. the most incredibly perfect boy, 320, just left my apartment, after what can only be described as a fairly awkward 12 hours. i still get wildly shy around a lot of boys. especially when i find them hot. and even more especially when i feel they are hotter than me by anyones standards, even if they dont agree. anyway. my nervous reaction is to talk too much. mix that with me getting high and wanting to… Read More "…came back to my blog"
Dont let the Mom part scare you off. Im not here to tell you what do not do on your wild weekend in Vegas, infact the very opposite. Trip Mom is here to look after you and your boys on your messy trip to Vegas. Dont worry about who has got what tickets to what, whos lost their phone, dont be left wandering why you walked 2 miles just to get an In-and-Out burger, or feeling swindled by all the clubs who seem to just wanna take money from guys, not sure which strip club is best and who to trust getting you there Trip Mom can look after your best interests. Vegas can seem kind of dodgy and like everyone wants something from you. Trip Mom is here to make sure you dont get taken advantage of or waste any party time here. Are you trying to fit a… Read More "Trip Mom – A tour Manager for your boys vacation in Vegas."
The One Way You Know You’re Having Feminist Sex Hurrah! You’re a feminist! (Ot at least I imagine you are, given that you’re reading this article.) But if you’ve ever looked at your sex life uneasily and wondered if it’s fulfilling all the beliefs you have when you’ve got your clothes on, fear not. There’s actually a fair simple test to determine whether the sex you’re having is feminist: are you able to communicate what you want and be heard? If so, high five. If not, don’t worry, you’re not a secret misogynist or a doormat. You just haven’t reached the full awesome feminist potential of your sex life yet, and that’s not a failure in any way. It’s just a new thing to be explored. Yay! Adventures! By JR Thorpe Read More "“The One Way You Know You’re Having Feminist Sex”"
he has thrown his wedding ring at me 6 times (about once every 2-3 weeks, the argument and recovery last 3-7 days) and told me he is calling the lawyers for a divorce. but only once has he left the house for more than an hour when he has said he is leaving. he packed all my stuff and loaded it in the car twice, to move me out. i havent once threatened to end it or said i dont want to be with him forever. everything he does is like he hates me. but he wont leave me or even leave me alone. he just pushes and pushes and pushes me to leave but doesnt want me to go and he doesnt want to end it. i dont know how to help him or stop this cycle cause he doesnt even think he has done anything wrong. he used… Read More "March 5th 2015"
Daniel Bergner reveals surprising information about women, sex and lust There is a common belief that most men would like to have sex all the time, but is this really the case? Research shows that women want sex much more than we are led to believe. In my practice, I see almost as many women who complain their partners don’t want sex as much as they do, as I see men. By Matty Silver Read More "“Daniel Bergner reveals surprising information about women, sex and lust”"
hmm my fantasies. i have a few. detailed role plays i want to act out. but i never want to tell someone i want to do it cause it would go against the fantasy. its a hard line to figure out how to tell someone to rape you and to feel like you are being raped. i guess that gives away one of my fantasies. there are so many rape scenarios that i would like to try out. bound, gagged, reluctant, fighting, screaming and crying gang rape is a pretty exciting option for me. having my body used and abused for many mens pleasure with no regard for my feelings or my own sexual satisfaction. i most like the idea of someone taking advantage of me when they think i dont know it is happening. this fantasy has so many forms. sleep rape. being drunk or drugged to a point… Read More "…wanted to tell you my fantasies"