I had a problem with my essay on Perfomative Sex pretty much since I wrote it. It was too basic. Too similar to scripts currently being acted out sexually. Too close to a woman having to show off and perform for a man like she already does. I didnt quite capture the essense of the concept I was trying to share. After a sexual experience last week I was given the insight I needed to clarify this and expand upon it. Maybe even tear it up all together. Read More "Performative Sex…A ReWorking"
Conceptual Sex
Conceptual sex Taking the masculine role work concept real life sex concept work male role, setting boundaries, trying to avoid problemactic languare and scenarios, not performing patriachal female stereotypes – aesthetically or behaviourally wearing no make up hairy taking control showing myself off rather than like giving a twirl for approval not answering things i dont agree with schooling people on what they are doing is problematic taking on the male role taking space for me to Read More "Conceptual Sex"
i cant take it any more
I just cant take it any more. Reading things about prostitution and sex work. About whether it should be legal, whether its exploitation, workers horror stories, bad business practices, sex trafficking and all the other bullshit used to suppress the acceptance of our need to access sex. This is a fucking health crisis. And more than that for me, its a personal crisis. I cant take it any more. I am a sex worker. I am a prostitute. I am a independent woman in charge of my own life. And i desperately want and need my chosen field to be recognized like any other. I do this work not cause its “real work”, not cause i want a job, not cause I’m forced or have no other options. I do it cause I LOVE IT. It is my passion. It is my calling. Its what I love spending my time… Read More "i cant take it any more"
This Is Americaaaaa
I wanted to write about lonliness but i just got so angry and hate every one that i dont think I can. I am at walmart for the night and this fucking cunt just parked next to me in this junk old rig and left their noisy ass engine running which then reminded me that the same junk ass looking rv woke me up at 5 o fucking clock the other day by having the same earth shaking, piece of shit engine running for half an hour. at 5 o fucking clock. how are people so fucking inconsiderate and ignorant.This whole country is just inconsideration and ignorance. I dont think i can stand it much longer. the people are so fucking awful it has ruined my whole life. its fucked up my mental health. i got abused. mulitple times. friendship over here is a joke. money goes out faster than… Read More "This Is Americaaaaa"
without sex i am nothing.
without sex i am nothing. i am sat in the library crying cause my body is aching to be touched so badly. Its all ive wanted for the longest time now, like a month. is to just spend time in bed with someone. to feel my skin on someone. to have sex over and over. to be held. and touched. to kiss someone. to have someone touch me like they love my body and what it can do. i feel sick right now.. its so painful i want to vomit. its entirely all consuming. a few hours, a day, a night, isnt enough. i need days to open up and relax and unwind and connect. laying down with someone i like is when i am happy. peacful, content. no mind. doing what i am supposed to be doing. it is my purpose. and without it i have nothing i like… Read More "without sex i am nothing."
Dogs In Hats Playing Poker And Smoking
So the best analogy I have come up so far about the nature of humans as animals is that between humans and dogs. There are a variety of species of dogs, some more trainable than others, some more domesticated, some wilder, some are still wild and undomesticated, some are so over bred that hinders their quality of life. There is a spectrum of dogs from most over bred, least capeable, efficient, undog like domesticated dogs, to wild dogs born free and never domesticated. And then there are wolves. That cannot be domesticated. I see humans on the same spectrum. Some so conditioned, trained, incapeable of physical activity, incabeable of free thought, unaware of their emotions, slave to the life they have been told to have. Some let elements of their natural wildness out, through agression, extroversion, sex, drugs, etc, without knowing why. Some are are aware of the world around… Read More "Dogs In Hats Playing Poker And Smoking"
Writing About Writing
I have to write something as I have ages to kill while I wait for things to back up on my phone. I have a few things Ive been thinking of writing: A Bus Sex Series The Nature of a Promiscuous Woman – I have not slept with a lot of men because I have fallen for a lot of mens shit. I have slept with a lot of men because I chose to sleep with them. They are my conquests. I am not theirs. Cycles Intimacy The Body and female strengths in enlightenment The body is everything. As soon as awakening enters the body, enlightenment becomes possible. Read More "Writing About Writing"
Semantics
Always remember when you are listening to me, try to follow my meaning. It’s difficult, but you have to try. In that very trying you will get out of your meanings. Slowly, slowly a window will open and you will be able to see what I mean. Otherwise there is going to be confusion: I say something, you hear something else. – Osho, Love, freedom, aloneness: the koan of relationships. Read More "Semantics"
dont tread on me
living in america is a constant onslaught of things, people and ideas that threaten who i am. i face a daily barrage of situations and events that make me question everything about the world i live in and what i thought i knew and what i think of as right or wrong. the people and the places are so diverse that it has created infinite differences in each person. no two people experience any one thing the same. im sat here in starbucks. a busy one. and a fat old white man in the corner has a radio station playing on his phone at full volume. a man sat around the corner could hear it. we can all hear it. it is intruding upon every single one of our lives. because of what that fat idiot thinks is ok. everyone thinks different things are important and are offended by different… Read More "dont tread on me"
Deep Thought = Legitimate Work
Deep thought as deep work. Deep thought as legitimate work. Deep thought and it’s productivity in relation to my writing. In order to be a great writer you must have great ideas. And to get great ideas you usually need to spend time thinking about ideas and their possibilities and pursuing different ideas. Many great artists have and still do sequester themselves away from Soceity and often civilization in order to create. Most people do not have the luxury of prolonged periods of deep thought. However due to the unusual lifestyle I’ve lead over the past 7 years I’ve found myself with more and more time for deep thought. I am now at a point where my life is almost solely devoted to deep thought. I also have been pursuing the opposite. The ability to stop all thought and just exist in the moment. To sense. To be. And to be… Read More "Deep Thought = Legitimate Work"
Lets Talk About Sex
Why can’t we talk about sex? Some people may say that there is no need to have a public conversation and space for Sex, that it is a private matter between the two consenting adults partaking and that it is crass or vulgar to talk about graphically. I believe, however, that it is something that urgently needs bringing out of the darkness and into the light. Sex is something almost all of us do in our lifetimes. We don’t all do it all the time, some of us do it more than others. Some do it every day. Some only do it when it’s really necessary. To a lot of people a happy/good Sex life is a important factor in their relationships, well being and lives in general. Our sex life’s have an impact on our mental and physical health. And our Sex lives can be as varied as our… Read More "Lets Talk About Sex"
Task based personal assistant.
I live in a small bus, on my own. I love the independent life. But sometimes you just need another person. Whether it is for company, an extra pair of hands on a task, doing something you can’t or don’t like to do, taking care of things you dont have time for or even someone to just accompany you when you dont want to go somewhere alone, an extra person can make all the difference. I am that extra person. I have a ridiculously varied and unusual resume, which should help give you an idea of what skills and experience I have, and also have started a list of ideas for the different kinds of personal assistance you didnt even know you needed or could get! Ideas There is the long list of normal tasks like cooking, cleaning, laundry and errands and the specific services I can provide based on… Read More "Task based personal assistant. "
Sex Professional
i want to be a sex professional. i want to help people with any sexual queries they may have and come up with sexual solutions to their problems. i want to help couples who aren’t sexually compatible be happy, practically and conceptually. i want to help people reach their sexual goals and fantasies. i want to teach people who want to know more, about sexual acts, naked confidence, sexual exploration and the ways it can all improve your general confidence and well being. i want to help people not feel ashamed about sex, sexuality and fetishes and bring it out of the shadows as and acceptable part of everyone’s life and being a well rounded human. i don’t want sex to hold anyone back or make their life’s difficult. i want to encourage sexual honesty, for yourself, your current and your future partners. Read More "Sex Professional"
Art 19th February 2017
I have decided its time to start making art again. I realised it is the best way for me to be me. It is why i am me. It is who i am. I can say what i want, how i want. After art school i didnt make anything. I had nothing to make art about. At goldsmiths i was able to fly against the traditions of their art course and students. But as soon as that need to rebel was gone i had nothing left use as fuel for my artistic fire. I thought i had left the art world forever. I considered myself entirely separated by early 2007. 10 years ago. I did not realise this. Ha so now i have decided to make again. I am going to use the media i have learnt to use over the past 10 years to ….share my adventure with people….and… Read More "Art 19th February 2017"
Trip Mom – A tour Manager for your boys vacation in Vegas.
Dont let the Mom part scare you off. Im not here to tell you what do not do on your wild weekend in Vegas, infact the very opposite. Trip Mom is here to look after you and your boys on your messy trip to Vegas. Dont worry about who has got what tickets to what, whos lost their phone, dont be left wandering why you walked 2 miles just to get an In-and-Out burger, or feeling swindled by all the clubs who seem to just wanna take money from guys, not sure which strip club is best and who to trust getting you there Trip Mom can look after your best interests. Vegas can seem kind of dodgy and like everyone wants something from you. Trip Mom is here to make sure you dont get taken advantage of or waste any party time here. Are you trying to fit a… Read More "Trip Mom – A tour Manager for your boys vacation in Vegas."