Jeasus fucking Christ. Why does anyone even talk about national debt?!!! Debt to who?!! It’s not fucking real. Read More "National Debt…"
Ive Fixed How To End Capitalism! Lol
I’ve fixed ending Capitalism! Stop all new production now. We have enough of everything. If we knew that everything that exists is all there is, we would treat it differently. Lots of jobs would disappear. Money wouldn’t be nessersary as all utilities are free. Limits obviously. Learn how to fix, re use and repurpose everything. And as people settle into having more time, new human priorities would emerge. And communities and systems could be built around that Grow food Anyone who wants to work can work at any of the jobs we still need doing. For fun. Make the work human. Not a job. Re structure how it is all done No dogs in hats smoking cigars. Humans using all their wisdom to live in freedom given the consequences of the past 20,000yr fuxk up That is our current situation 2 acres of land each Read More "Ive Fixed How To End Capitalism! Lol"
Racism?
If race was such a issue in America, why aren’t they talking about Latinos? Why is race a black issue? Why are white supremacists rife in Latinos? Cause it’s a culture war. Not a race issue. Black American culture is redneck shit. It’s the lowest common denominator. Read More "Racism?"
January 26th 2021
The universal human animal. We aren’t all unique and individual. There is a universal animal under all of us. That should be the guiding force Life isn’t long enough to get to know yourself and your environment and your interactions with the ever changing environment let alone all the stupid domesticated human shit. Read More "January 26th 2021"
why there is so much pain.
why there is so much pain. I understand that emotions come from somewhere and have a reason. i know where all my trauma and pain comes from. i know why i have emotional crisis. and why i have the defensive behaviors i have. but i dont know why i STILL am feeling and traumatized by everything thats ever happened to me.. why all the things ive ever felt affect me every day. why my emotions are so overwhelming, uncontrollable and unmanageable. why they pile on and grow beyond reasonable for the situation. i have processed everything that has ever happened to me. many times. on many levels. and yet the pain is still here. the pain has always been there. i have always been discontented. up and down. always in agony for no reason. life isnt that bad for me, but it hurts to exist. ive always felt bad for feeling se depressed and fucked up when my life isnt as bad as it is painful. everything is even more painful at the moment due to my isolation. i withdrew cause of trauma and hurt and repeated relationship failures and my bpd characteristics ruining relationships. but now im so far from reality and bpd has taken over so much, i dont feel capable of forming healthy relationships, or coping with them while they occur. all the evidence i have shows me that any relationships will end anyway. and when it ends it could hurt so bad and could ruin my life for over 5 years and i believe i would probably die if i got my heartbroken again. all this means im now too scared to interact with people. i have no confidence in myself with other people and no belief or trust in other people that they wont destroy… Read More "why there is so much pain."
This Is Americaaaaa
I wanted to write about lonliness but i just got so angry and hate every one that i dont think I can. I am at walmart for the night and this fucking cunt just parked next to me in this junk old rig and left their noisy ass engine running which then reminded me that the same junk ass looking rv woke me up at 5 o fucking clock the other day by having the same earth shaking, piece of shit engine running for half an hour. at 5 o fucking clock. how are people so fucking inconsiderate and ignorant.This whole country is just inconsideration and ignorance. I dont think i can stand it much longer. the people are so fucking awful it has ruined my whole life. its fucked up my mental health. i got abused. mulitple times. friendship over here is a joke. money goes out faster than it comes in and every single person over here is lying about what they are really like. the whole nation is blind to itself. ohhhh we are so caring and christian and friendly and kind. No they arent, They are the exact opposite. they would step on anyone in a second to get one over for themselves. Dont tread on me. Dont fuck me over cause im fucking you over. dont stop me being a ignorant cunt who steps on everyone else. freedom. americaaaa. yeah this isnt what real life is like. you know. in civilised countries. like england and basically the whole of europe. even the aussies arent as fucked up as americans. aussies are actually open and genuine. its not a front like in america. aussies dont have toxic masculinity. they are just masculine. americans are so fucking insecure that everything here is toxic. its such a trashy.… Read More "This Is Americaaaaa"
Dogs In Hats Playing Poker And Smoking
So the best analogy I have come up so far about the nature of humans as animals is that between humans and dogs. There are a variety of species of dogs, some more trainable than others, some more domesticated, some wilder, some are still wild and undomesticated, some are so over bred that hinders their quality of life. There is a spectrum of dogs from most over bred, least capeable, efficient, undog like domesticated dogs, to wild dogs born free and never domesticated. And then there are wolves. That cannot be domesticated. I see humans on the same spectrum. Some so conditioned, trained, incapeable of physical activity, incabeable of free thought, unaware of their emotions, slave to the life they have been told to have. Some let elements of their natural wildness out, through agression, extroversion, sex, drugs, etc, without knowing why. Some are are aware of the world around them, some awakened, some self aware. Some get to live wild and free. Some know they are wild but are trapped in the life they have been told to have. Some get to connect to their true selves, some to their deep human nature. There is the same spectrum of domesticated to wild. And then there are the englightened. The ones who can no longer be domesticated in any way. Who embody and experience the true spirit and nature of the whole species. Read More "Dogs In Hats Playing Poker And Smoking"
Writing About Writing
I have to write something as I have ages to kill while I wait for things to back up on my phone. I have a few things Ive been thinking of writing: A Bus Sex Series The Nature of a Promiscuous Woman – I have not slept with a lot of men because I have fallen for a lot of mens shit. I have slept with a lot of men because I chose to sleep with them. They are my conquests. I am not theirs. Cycles Intimacy The Body and female strengths in enlightenment The body is everything. As soon as awakening enters the body, enlightenment becomes possible. Read More "Writing About Writing"
Semantics
Always remember when you are listening to me, try to follow my meaning. It’s difficult, but you have to try. In that very trying you will get out of your meanings. Slowly, slowly a window will open and you will be able to see what I mean. Otherwise there is going to be confusion: I say something, you hear something else. – Osho, Love, freedom, aloneness: the koan of relationships. Read More "Semantics"
Balance, The Sexual Cycle
The balance I am searching for will resonate with women because we all have hormonal cycles. As do men. And traditional Sex only caters to one or two phases of these hormones. We all know, a certain time of the month we feel more frisky. (unless you are allowing birth control to control your life, but that is a whole other patriarchal bag of shit, and I for sure do not advocate no birth control, but suppressing our cycle suppresses ourselves and we deserve something better) back to that frisky feeling. I personally have a few days a month, and on some lucky months, up to a week, but usually 5 daysish, where I want all the dick. Every dick. Any dick. And preferably all at the same time. Constantly. This is when I want to get fucked by men. Cock hungry. I want their masculinity, their force, friction, strong hands, pounding, railing, grunting, screaming patriarchal sex. Patriarch the fuck out of me! These must be the days I’m most fertile as women were designed to receive multiple partners in order to get the strongest children. But that is only 5 days. What about the other days? There is another phase in my period where I hate all men, and want to dominate the shit out of them. I want them to feel pain and do what I want. And then the rest of the time…well I just get on with life. But there are times of the month when you want something else. There is something missing. When you are in a relationship, those days where I’m gagging for it seem few and far between. I don’t want the man I love to fuck me…even when it’s making love, it is still traditional Sex. It but is definitely closer… Read More "Balance, The Sexual Cycle"
January 22nd 2018
ive been with my mom, around people, in busy towns, cities, campsites, beaches, doing things for the last 4 weeks and its time for a break. i was feeling grubby today on my way to starbucks and then the beach. when i realised i only feel grubby cause im in cities and around city and town people, not country people who generally are dirty from work. ive also been in very posh and mostly white areas too. not much poverty around these parts. i miss being away from the cities. where trivial stuff matters less. where i feel less judged. where i dont feel the constant pressure to spend money, consume, shop, partake. its a constant onslaught of the senses. i have lived in the biggest cities in england for the first 26 years of my life but since leaving them and spending more and more time in the countryside, small towns and villages, and mostly, the wilderness, i havent wanted to go back. The only city ive lived in since i left london was las vegas. and that isnt a normal kind of city. it runs on fun, pleasure, tourism, excitement, experiences. working there is being a part of a system that provideds millions of people with a dream, a getaway, a world unlike any other. the city doesnt have hoards of paper pushers and bullshit jobs. its a service city. everyone is a entertainer. obviously i know there are still normal, non tourist/service jobs there. but its those service jobs that are the backbone of society, not just services propping up a city of paper pushers or tech workers. Read More "January 22nd 2018"
dont tread on me
living in america is a constant onslaught of things, people and ideas that threaten who i am. i face a daily barrage of situations and events that make me question everything about the world i live in and what i thought i knew and what i think of as right or wrong. the people and the places are so diverse that it has created infinite differences in each person. no two people experience any one thing the same. im sat here in starbucks. a busy one. and a fat old white man in the corner has a radio station playing on his phone at full volume. a man sat around the corner could hear it. we can all hear it. it is intruding upon every single one of our lives. because of what that fat idiot thinks is ok. everyone thinks different things are important and are offended by different things so almost every interaction is negative for someone when another person is expressing what they are ok with. there is no common behaviour that everyone observes in order to create less impact and intrusion on the lives of people around us. there is no standard manners. no common courtesy. no mutual understanding that we are living in an ever busy and intrusive world and we should all contribute to create the least impact we can on our fellow people. i used to be disgusted by what i thought was the mentality behind the “dont tread on me” merch people have. but over only a few months of moving around america, i feel like i am heading towards thinking exactly that. dont tread on me motherfuckers. every single one of you obnoxious self important pricks who dont have any concept of the societal disease they are and are spreading to… Read More "dont tread on me"
Deep Thought = Legitimate Work
Deep thought as deep work. Deep thought as legitimate work. Deep thought and it’s productivity in relation to my writing. In order to be a great writer you must have great ideas. And to get great ideas you usually need to spend time thinking about ideas and their possibilities and pursuing different ideas. Many great artists have and still do sequester themselves away from Soceity and often civilization in order to create. Most people do not have the luxury of prolonged periods of deep thought. However due to the unusual lifestyle I’ve lead over the past 7 years I’ve found myself with more and more time for deep thought. I am now at a point where my life is almost solely devoted to deep thought. I also have been pursuing the opposite. The ability to stop all thought and just exist in the moment. To sense. To be. And to be content. I am really happy with how far I have come with both of these polar states. But now I am wondering if too much deep thought could be detrimental to productivity. Especially in my case. I have always been a dreamer. A ideas person. I love fixing and solving. But I’m not much of a doer. I don’t actually put the ideas down or pursue them very often…..I’m pausing. I’m not sure that is true. I’m living in a school bus in America without a job or responsibilities, exactly what i wanted, my idea. Maybe more of the reality is that I have had a long period where I haven’t been able to put my thoughts into actions or successfully pursue ideas. And for the last year I have been having more ideas than usual and I haven’t been in a situation to put much down on paper or… Read More "Deep Thought = Legitimate Work"
17th December
im so in to the being true to yourself thing at the moment because i havent know what myself was for the past 4 years. four years ago i was in a really good place. i knew who i was, what i liked, how i wanted to live, how i wanted my future to look. i had a goal, i had a calling, i had passion and motivation and i was quite content. i have struggled all my life with emotional ups and downs from PMDD, BPD and suspected Bi-Polar, but i was in a good place 4 years ago. then one day it all changed. i met one person who would destroy my life and myself. the first 6 months was manageable. six months later i didnt know who i was, what i wanted or what mattered to me. that relationship and its breakdown massively exacerbated my pre existing mental health issues. i didnt know how i would feel from one minute to the next, let alone, days or weeks away. i didnt know why i was feeling the way i was, or if it would ever stop or go away. i could barely exist for almost three years. id have days where i would feel like a normal person, happy, optimistic, id make plans, id feel like i knew who i was somewhat, in that moment. but then out of nowhere i could end up in bed, hysterically crying, panicking and really not knowing if id make it through the next 30 minutes. i felt like a spaceman whos line had been cut and was drifting into the nothingness of space, disconnected from reality and slipping further and further away. i dont want to cut a long story short, but my journey out of that isnt the point right now,… Read More "17th December"
Nihilism
I hope the world and every fucking person on it burns and dies. Life is a fucked up trap and if you dont play along you dont survive. i guess that means i wont be surviving much longer. fuck you fuck everyone fuck life. life is a fucking illusion. you are born to make money for other people. live other peoples ideas of what is right and wrong. there is never ever true freedom. we live in a fucking game. this isnt living. this is fucking gross. Read More "Nihilism"
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