They deleted my account. For a non rule violation. So now I’m sharing my life in much greater real time detail on OnlyFans. OnlyFans.com/SkySmith Read More "Fuck SnapChat"
I Fucking Hate “Seeing Someone”
I am about to meet up with Ryan. I thought there was a chance he wouldnt want to come or show up but he just messaged about having his hair cut, like “do you mind if i have my hair cut”. Which is super cute. So im less worried about that. But no matter how it goes today and tomorrow, wednesday is going to be hard. I will feel very flat and all over the place. I plan on driving to grand junction and going climbing and getting new T-Mobile service. That will give me time to re center myself and get back to focusing on me. It will be especially hard if I let myself be really cute with him and share love. Love is hard to put back in the box and it will hurt. But right now, before, when I feel strong, I want this. I want… Read More "I Fucking Hate “Seeing Someone”"
Bad Day
the morning was pretty bad today but talked it through with dad and ended up feeling abke to start my day. i just couldnt make myself do anything. i had no reason to get up. and i was frozen just unable to think about anuthing other than having nothing to get up for even though i did. i was supposed to be tidying the bius and getting on with work. but i couldnt. work, earning money, existing, isnt reason enough to start the day. it was a really good conversatin with dad. i started tidying up. then heather phoned. she talked a lot. and repeated a lot. but it was nice to talk to her. i tried not to stres that it meant i would be getting towork much later than i needed. and eventually i got the headphones working so i could carry on tidying while on the phone.… Read More "Bad Day"
24th August 2019
its interesting that….i forgot. oh yeah. until i went to australia, i wasnt in to tanning or hanging out outside much, or the summer in general, but as soon as i got australia and wore the clothes and did it all i loved it and have chased the sun since cam is pretty quiet. lots of site problems apparently. and end of pay period. i need a new microphone. i might take back the webcam i have and try another one. it could be that. the old one wasnt like that. ill just get the better one. Read More "24th August 2019"
January 22nd 2018
ive been with my mom, around people, in busy towns, cities, campsites, beaches, doing things for the last 4 weeks and its time for a break. i was feeling grubby today on my way to starbucks and then the beach. when i realised i only feel grubby cause im in cities and around city and town people, not country people who generally are dirty from work. ive also been in very posh and mostly white areas too. not much poverty around these parts. i miss being away from the cities. where trivial stuff matters less. where i feel less judged. where i dont feel the constant pressure to spend money, consume, shop, partake. its a constant onslaught of the senses. i have lived in the biggest cities in england for the first 26 years of my life but since leaving them and spending more and more time in the countryside,… Read More "January 22nd 2018"
9th January
ive been in a bit of a funk the last few weeks. i have been struggling to feel like myself and adjusting to spending all my time with family after just getting used to being alone and figuring out who i am and what i want. i struggle to adjust and i struggle with how i behave in this adjustment period. i have just re read the writing ive done since ive been with family and its a lot of me explaining myself and asking why things are the way they are. i didnt enjoy re reading them and thought they sounded very juvenile. my friend warned me that we regress when we are with family and i thought id gotten to a place where this wouldnt happen again. but it kind of has. i have 6 weeks more of vacation here where i get to enjoy a leisurely day… Read More "9th January"
Dec 15th 2017
I saw the same homeless man twice today and I said if j saw him a third k would talk to him. I saw him on my walk home. With way too much cholcoafs milk shake left dr dinner. I offered him my shake and we had a nice chat for about 10 minutes. I face him Read More "Dec 15th 2017"
March 5th 2015
he has thrown his wedding ring at me 6 times (about once every 2-3 weeks, the argument and recovery last 3-7 days) and told me he is calling the lawyers for a divorce. but only once has he left the house for more than an hour when he has said he is leaving. he packed all my stuff and loaded it in the car twice, to move me out. i havent once threatened to end it or said i dont want to be with him forever. everything he does is like he hates me. but he wont leave me or even leave me alone. he just pushes and pushes and pushes me to leave but doesnt want me to go and he doesnt want to end it. i dont know how to help him or stop this cycle cause he doesnt even think he has done anything wrong. he used… Read More "March 5th 2015"
March 19th 2013
So I am back in the game. I am at my new house. I have travelled to a different town to do it, as I am way to well known where I live and do not wanna risk being spotted any more than I already have at home. It is my second night here but I was feeling too lazy to write last night. It wasnt like I had much to do but houses are really draining. You are basically sat or lying in a lounge room for up to 12 hours waiting to see people. All I wanna do is eat and watch TV. Most girls who work here and in general in this job end up putting on weight. I have in the past. The old house used to provide bread, que eating 6 slices of toast with butter and honey a night. Read More "March 19th 2013"