I really think “karen” is just another way to silence angry women. Oh no. Someone is demanding good service cause they are sick and tired of being fucked over, and over and over. And one day you snap. And everyone attacks. Instead of wandering why she snapped. Women are so fucked over that a woman expressing her anger is seen as something awful.
RadFems and Porn
It’s so weird that rad fems blame the porn industry for porn culture. When porn and prostitution have always existed. The problem isn’t porn. It’s the MAINSTREAM commodifying porn imagery. This is cause sex is so suppressed that masses enabled porn to spill over in to the mainstream. Instead. Let’s make porn and Sex work the way to show people how female led sex is and can be!!!! That is what I do every day.
WOMEN…The Majority is WOMEN!
Minorities won’t have equality until the majority have equality!!!!
Yo. All Men. Its Fucking OVER!
I am DONE with men. All men. It is time, after 30 years of putting them first and getting zero in return, to cut the fuckers out my life.
I have spent the last few years being incredibly protective and defensive of myself after years of abuse and harassment from men. Men in the street, at bars and clubs, on dating apps, in relationships, after one night stands. Over and over. It got to the point where I couldn’t leave my house without at least 5 men sexually approaching me EVERY DAY. The first year in the bus I didn’t wear shorts once. I wore hats, large clothes, baggy hoodies, to hide my femininity, so men wouldn’t see an attractive woman alone in a bus. I have spent the last 5 years avoiding all social situations where I have to interact with men where I don’t know their intentions. I have called other women stupid for putting themselves in obvious situations with men that lead them to being harrased, raped, hit on, or attacked. It had gotten to the point where I knew it was irresponsible for me or other women to be alone with any man you aren’t sexually interested in yourself. I’ve had married bosses proposition me, tour leaders on trips rape me, strangers approach me constantly. One time I’ve given an older man the benefit of the doubt during a nice chat at starbucks that seemed genuine, intelligent and platonic, and gave him my number so we could share more ideas. This man was older than my father. He went bat shit crazy. Hitting on me and then abusing me when I rejected him. A man in his 60s. This has all meant I’ve spent the last few years rejecting seemingly innocent or pleasant social interactions or developing friendships with anyone, avoiding certain social opportunities and basically being trapped inside myself. I realised I couldn’t be myself around people. When im open, confident, caring and happy, fully free to be me, men abuse me. So I started hiding myself. Becoming defensive, more angry, more shut off from the world. Just so people wouldn’t like me so much.
The past couple of months, with the help of a good therapist, I have started to get back into myself. Reconnect with who I am and how I bring myself joy. To get back to being able to be me, comfortably, happily, freely. And this has been going very well. I’ve been going to AA meetings and growing my ability to socialize. In this vein of growth and challenging myself, when one of the sweet old men in the group offered to take me on a hike, I agreed. I spent many days weighing up my decision. Was I being stupid and putting myself in a bad situation? Am I asking for trouble? What are his motives? What are my fears? Why am I so scared to do something so simple and innocent and nice with another human? How will I be able to ever connect to anyone if I don’t practice? I cried many times in the week before the hike. I was so scared. Scared to socialize in a platonic way as I am so out of practice. Scared he will annoy me and I’ll have a shit time and waste my day off. Scared of all the shit that has gone before and why I isolate. But here was a man, in AA, good friends with other members I know, old, ex adventure guide, with a passion for hiking and the local area to match mine. A safe person. Right?
Wrong! 12 miles in to the hike, and thankfully only 2 miles from the end, he proceeded to inform me of his attraction to me. Physical from the start and now even more interested in my personality and attitude. This all came out cause I asked how old he was. And he was embarresed to tell me cause he fucking fancied me. And the whole fucking thing had been driven by that motivator for him. I had an inkling. 2 miles into the hike we passed a couple of women, older than me, younger than him. He told them some history on the hike and when they asked if he was a guide he said ” No, I just get to take very attractive women out on hikes every now and then.” Cringe. But a harmless funny old man comment, right? Wrong. At lunch when I was talking about the love I have for the area and my passion to be a part of it, he said he was feeling the same thing between us as the first time he saw me and we looked at each other a certain way and asked if I remembered that. I played that off as a connection and understanding about our energy and love for the land. 7 miles off trail there isn’t much more you can do to avoid the situation when you have 5 more hours to spend together. So when he finally came out and said it and tagged on a story about his ex who was 24 years younger and couldn’t handle the age gap, I ended up blathering on about my moms ex who was 15 years older and she couldn’t handle that gap. And then onto my negative experiences with men and how it affects me and thus I how at the moment I currently choosing me and avoiding men. He wasn’t asking me out or anything direct, just expressing an attraction. At the bottom of a 800ft climb. So I couldn’t reject him or shut him down. Especially when he talked more about being alone for 8 years and how hard it is. I didn’t want to hurt or upset him. But WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? You met me at AA. You aren’t a year sober yet. You are 28 years older than me. We are alone in the wilderness. You made no indication that your motivation for spending time together was romantic or sexual. And you spring this shit on me.
I had spent the day until that point being me. Freely, happy, confident. I wasn’t overthinking what I was saying. I wasn’t worried about how I came across. I wasn’t being defensive or protective. I was, I thought, with a friend I could relax with. But the more me I became, the more he liked me. My heart sank in that moment and I spent the rest of the hike back into the uncomfortable, blathering about things, over thinking, talking to fill silence, anxious, closed, protected state I am used to. I stuffed the thoughts and feelings related to this betrayal down and didn’t let myself think or dwell on it…till I got home. I had to drive him home, where he offered dinner and a shower and then invited me to a movie or something, some way to spend more time together. I awkwardly denied the dinner stating I was too tired. But as I had a good day I said I had enjoyed the time and non comitially agreed we should do something else some time. And then I drove off alone.
That is when the disappointment set in. Yesterday was meant to be an experiment for me to socialise in a pleasant way with someone with similar interests, to help me grow, to open me up. But instead it turned in to every single other experience I’ve had with men like this. I was and am so hurt that he couldn’t just see me for mea and just want to know me as a friend. That it had to inculde my looks and sex and attration and wanting something from me. All men want something from me. Its my fucking job to give men what they want from me. But at least in that dynamic they pay me. Other men I’m interested in only want the sex and not to know me at all. And the rest of all men just want me and want things from me with zero connection to reality about whether they are someone I would be interested in and can’t comprehend just being friends with me. I was and am angry at myself for putting myself in the situation in the first place. Stupid girl. I’m ready to quit AA and leave my favorite place in the world cause I feel so uncomfortable. I am disappointed and angry and sad at myself for how I handled the situation…AGAIN. Being nice, giggly, trying not to hurt his feelings, being gentle, leaving the door open and not being assertive or myself in any way. Feeling walked over. And so so so so so so so disappointed.
I had to have my mom call me from england at 4am her time to help me deal with this and not run away or fall into depression and anxiety, isolationism and anger. I have a VERY fragile mental health condition that is in early days of recovery. A mental illness that will kill me if one more person affects me the way others have in the past. So I am getting a lot of help and support at the moment. She helped me reign in my fear and desire to leave. She talked to me about “Fierce Conversations” and coming up with a plan for me to be able to reject men in a clear and firm way that sits much better with who I am personally and professionally. And we talked about how I can plan to deal with the situation with this man who is at every fucking AA meeting i NEED to go to. She stopped me escalating into the all the other problems that come from my interactions with men and acknowledged they are things we can address in the future. Allll the while, i was feeling guilty for feeling so bad about a sweet, old, sad, lonely man. The guilt and empathy fills me with sickness and sadness that is balanced out with anger, frustration, confusion, annoyance, and so much disappointment. But by the end of the conversation, I was feeling much less like throwing my life away to escape a man…again.
However I am going to be avoiding AA for the next few days. I am going to a women’s meeting tonight where I am going to get an older female sponsor. I am going to be leaving town to park up out in the wilderness to escape all people while I recover for a few days. And more importantly than any of that, I am going to be saying No to anything with ALL men from now on.
Because of this straw, the camel’s back has been broken. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So after 30 years of trying to make it work with men, I give up. I quit. I’m out. Im done. Fuck you. Fuck all of you.
The last month or so, my new motto has been “choose me”. I had already decided to avoid sexual interactions with men as that is a whole other can of worms on how that doesn’t work out for me and damages me every time. I had hoped that meant I could develop my non sexual relationships with men, people with whom I can do the activities I value. But that clearly just isn’t going to work. Men HAVE to be off the table. No men. Work on growing my connection to women and developing my skills at meeting women. Only women.
My job, that I love with all my soul is providing a service for men who are willing to make it a mutually beneficial situation. Those men respect me and my role. The dynamic is simple. And in my work I intentionally educate and inform men of the ways I see them acting or speaking in toxic or problematic ways. I reject and inform in a kind and fun way that I cannot do in real life. Online, at work, the dynamic with men is one I value and enjoy. So this part of my life I can throw myself into and spend all that real life man energy on. Interacting with men like this is actually choosing me. I get to be fully freely, happily, confidently me in that environment, and build my business and grow my income. But that is where my interaction with men will end. At work.
In real life, I will be saying No, assertively, in all situations involving men for a while. I dont want a random chat in the grocery store, I dont want to offer support in AA, I dont want to use dating apps, I dont want to fuck, I dont want a relationship, I dont want a male friend, I dont want to do activities, I dont want you to exist in my world, at all. I dont need men. Men universally let women down. They dont show up, they take advantage, they abuse, harrass, rape, ignore, fight, push boundaries and generally are out for what they can get of me. They do not add to my life. They steal my light and leave me broken on the floor.
Men don’t bring me any light or positivity. So for now I am off men. Its over. For now, I’m choosing me.
Edit to add: As I posted this I got a call, from my mechanic……asking to fucking camp with me this weeknend. YES. ALL MEN.
“Screw Calves and Pecs—I’m a Dick Woman”
Who says there’s no female equivalent of being a butt man, a boob man or a leg man?
…It’s not because I’m not shallow. I’m as shallow as any ass, tit or leg man out there. But I haven’t had my sexual preferences catered to in such a cartoonish, excessive way throughout my life—and so, like a lot of women, I don’t really feel comfortable going around talking about it.
What does that look like, to have your preferences catered to? Think about the first time you opened a Playboy as a kid. You, men, have been fed hundreds of thousands of images of women in submissive, deferential poses in ads and art and porn and films your entire lives. There are entire songs written about women’s body parts: “Legs,” “Ass Man,” and “Baby Got Back” to name a few, to say nothing of various and sundry references to “American thighs.” In women’s corner is that one TV show I Love Dick, which is actually about a guy named Dick and was quickly canceled, even though it was critically acclaimed.
This steady gush of ass-, tits- and legs-ism has deeply shaped your way of thinking about women’s bodies. So when you sit around and rank women’s body parts by your personal preference, you are participating in something called “dismemberment,” which sounds pretty gruesome!
It’s cultural conditioning. In other words, it’s not that women don’t fetishize men’s body parts or their bodies. Hooboy, do we! We just don’t have the privilege of being indulged and encouraged, and in control of most art and media, so that we can sit around ranking this shit all day long as if we’re piecing together our dream guy like in that accidental documentary about misogynistic nerds called Weird Science.
Before you go parroting back some old myths about men and sex — that you’re more visual, that you need sex more, that you’re hornier, that you can’t help it — you should really read some Daniel Bergner.
He’s a man who did journalistic research interviewing dozens of experts and reviewing the existing literature and found that everything we think we know about female sexuality is probably wrong. Women are hornier, lustier, more visual and into more novel sexual experiences than men. They are far more bored by monogamy than men.
Tracy Moore
Stream Of Consciousness
Devolving into dating app memoir.
I wonder if i can manage to write stuff while i wait for shows on streamate. There is a constant stream of thoughts going through my head while i sit here. I say too many of them outloud on cam. Maybe this is a way to stop me talking as much shit to these idiots. Im sure when i talk to someone i dont get any shows. Most of the shows i get are from people who dont even talk to me first or hover around the room. Just boom. In and done.
Some of the best shows i get are from that. People who know what they are doing. Have read my bio. Know they want me doing my thing of whatever mutual interest we have. They can be really long shows too. Then i never see them again. Gone. forgotten. I have always had sex amnesia. I forget what happened after its finished. And then i forget what their penises were like. On cam i forget what show we did. They all just blur into one.
I wonder if i should write about how i find the sex i do. How im the hunter.how i choose.
The high failure rate. Potential bio to fix it. Ultimately a new kind of dating app to be made.
I have been using dating apps and websites to find sex for about 12 years now. I never really used them for dates. Sometimes id go through phases thinking i wanted dates, but really i just wanted a certain level of respect to be gained/felt or earnt from my future partner before we had sex. Now i can comand that just with the sex act alone and never need the pretence of a date. I have also never looked for a relationship on them. I have found love on them. But i was never there for love. So i would say i have gained quite extensive knowlege and exerience of internet dating that i wish to share. Obviously it is just my experience from my perspective and privilidge position. That isnt nessersacry to disect. I just want to hold up a example of things that happen but dont get talked about in the hopes that when someone else feels the same they feel bolstered by someone else having felt or done it before, as well as titlate, entertain you, the wider audience, to question comonly held beliefs, and discuss potential ideas for progress.
I am going to have to have a good think about what my first online dating memory was. I think im remebering who it was. A boy called Tim. He liked snowboarding. I was living in my own flat in Camden in london at the time and it had already turned into a bit of a sex den. I seemed to be fucking a lot of people in secret at that point in my life and that worked out well as i seemed to be the obly person who lived alone in central london! Maybe that is why i had so amany men! Lol.
I think the first dating site i used was plenty of fish. I think. It had a reputation for being a hook up site. Perfect! I just checked my list and it was the night before my 26th birthday. I think we did the very traditional pizza and movie combo. Watching movies until we were litterally too tired and had to suggest going to bed….then we had sex. The few times after that were the same. As was most of the sex i was having at that time. Lots of sitting around watching things till it was too late to have any real fun as you were both too tired. To be fair that has happened recently too. Just with more talking rather than watching things.
After the first time i realised it wasnt just weirdos online, there were plenty of people like me looking for sex too. The next experience was one of my only bad experiences ive had from online dating. There was a long build up. He was deployed in the army abroad. Eventually i found out he had a wife and child. But he decided to come to London to visit me before he flew back home to see them. I was a differnt person then and put all the responsibility for cheating on the person with the partner. We had swapped pictures, but we hadnt skyped. Well. Despite having spent about a month talking to him when i finally met him outside kentish town train station he was nothing like i expected. He was shorter, shinier, sweatier, taughter, tenser. He oozed military, ridgid. We went back to my place and we started the usual pizza and movie night. However at some point i realised i couldnt stand him. Like couldnt physically be around him. But as he was apparently on a transfer back from Afgahnistan and his flught home wasnt till the next day, i didnt feel like i could kick him out. Instead, i tried a unique tac. I faked cyctitis. I used to get it pretty bad fairly oten and wouldn have to just sit in the bath to ease the pain. So i told him a bout had just kicked in and i had to sit in the bath. I sat in there for hours.. The pizza arrived, i stayed in there and ate it in the bath. Eventually i got out when i thought he would be too tired to want to hang out more. We went to bed. And he wasnt too tired. So we had awkward, stiff, hard, souless sex. In the morning we did it again i think. Eventually it was time for him to leave. When he got to the airport his flight had been delaued and asked if he could come back for a few hours. I faked some plans and stopped replying to his messages.
I had been so aware of the potential dangers of “online dating” when it was first emerging and I was embarrased to have had a bad experience and silly for not getting it right myself. It wasnt however, put off. I just learned, military men arent for me, I need to skype with people before i meed them to see what they actually look like and not to fuck men cheating on wives.
I was in england for about 6 months longer after that, using plenty of fish. I ended up meeting 5 poeple during that time. One was the reason i ended up leaving engand and travleling australia.
The first 6 months in australia i didnt use dating apps. Travelling, partying and australia were the perfect combination to find me plenty of amazign men to fuck whenever i wanted. I thin i got back on plenty of fish in november of 2011 cause i had crashed a moped and was bed bound for a while. I hate going without dick when i want it, so i started cruising online again. I
I managed to find a few guys in each place i went. Adding that to all the men i would meet in real life, my number from pre aus to post aus doubled. I moved to vegas next and back on plenty of fish. I wanted more options here so branched out onto match.com but soon found it way too much work, fielding all the messages from basically all the men on the site.
By novemebr 2013 Tinder had entered my life. Everything became infinitely easier. Only getting messages from men that i acutally found attractive was a massive leap forward in my experience online
so I would say i have a pretty good knowledge and experience of how to internet date.
“Playboy Magazine: Why She Can’t “Just Say No,” or the Danger of Male Rejection.”
Playboy Magazine Why She Can’t “Just Say No,” or the Danger of Male Rejection
Women are always saying one thing when they mean another, hardy har har. That’s a known punch line, but you know what? There’s truth there, and it’s not very funny. A lot of women don’t feel privileged enough to speak their mind directly, especially when it comes to engaging with men. But have you ever taken an extra beat to question why that is without falling comfortably into the assumption of “that’s just how women are”?
I didn’t think so.
One of the most common situations where this arises is when a woman is faced with unwanted advances from men. Whether it be a guy at the bar asking for her number, a stranger trying to grope her in a tight space, or an aggressive partner that makes honest communication a no-go in the relationship—a woman who attempts to keep the peace by side-stepping the situation through indirect responses is instantly ridiculed. “Why didn’t you just say no?” the judgy clergy wails…..(read more)
“The Best Sex Advice a Man Can Learn”
The Best Sex Advice a Man Can Learn
Too often, I’m afraid, men (and yes, I’ve been guilty of this myself) view the goals and purpose of those two kinds of sex as the same, and that can lead to all sort of problems and issues.
The goal of masturbation is physical and sexual pleasure for yourself. You do what you need to do to make yourself feel good; you provide yourself with an orgasmic release then go on with your day (or fall asleep for the night).
But when you apply that same self-centered approach to partnered sex, you lose out, and so does your partner. The mistake so many men make is they get so excited to have sex, and also so anxious about their sexual performance (getting and staying hard, lasting as long as possible) that they forgot the purpose of what they are there for: to have enjoyable partnered sex.
With the key word being partner.
And that’s taking the positive spin approach to it. Let’s be honest: some men’s cluelessness towards their partners is intentional, dismissive and abusive. I’m referring to men who are actively oblivious to their partner’s needs, and conscious of using them for their bodies. They know what they are doing. That’s not what I’m talking about here, as bad as that is. I have no patience for men who behave this way.
Instead, I’m talking about men who are less conscious of their selfish approach, either through not being taught about being a good partner or simply through inexperience, never thinking about sex this way, or too caught up in the moment to get out of their heads and into the moment that should be shared between two people.
Scott Gilman
I’m done with being harassed in public. Take note.
One of the most affirming situations I’ve been in recently has been my mom seeing and confirming how intense the amount of men and the situations they hit on me in are.
One stand out interaction was in Lowes. I was wearing old dirty, torn clothes. My hair was up and greasy and I had no make up on. I had a notebook and was working out what sizes of wood I needed to build my kitchen. When a man heard me speak. He lingered around us for a while with his friend till he started up a conversation about my accent. The “in” for all men here. He asked about my project. And then offered me the use of his work space in exchange for a date with me. My mom played offended and asked if she was invited. He said yes, if it meant he could have a date with her daughter. She was shocked at his thirst. He was older than me and definitely not my type. And I was not out looking for dates in Lowes. I said no but thanks for the offer. There was an attempt to convince me, like a woman doesn’t know her own mind. And eventually we carried on with our trip around Lowes.
This was one of MANY MANY interactions over the 4 months that left my mom feeling ignored and overlooked and me feeling as harassed and unable to go out in public quietly and safely as ever. I had told her before about what it’s like here for me. Especially when I was living in Vegas. If i stepped out the house I had to accept that at least 5 men would hit on me, cat call me or ask for my number after a short interaction, every time. I understand that happening in Vegas. But I wasn’t prepared for it happening everywhere. And I definitely wasn’t prepared for it happening in front of my mother. At first she was a bit jealous. But over time she began to understand my situation and now fully sees the reality of being me out in the world. She said she has NEVER in her life dealt with anything like what I do on a daily basis. She didn’t know it was like that. And now she does, she fully supports me when I need to talk about the problems I face just from men wanting me.
I can have a wonderful conversation with a stranger about mental health and the wilderness and it gets ended with, “I’d really like to see you again, you’re a beautiful woman, you’re so sexy, I like you”. I can’t go out and do anything without having to interact. I might want to go to the coffee shop, or hot springs, or on a hike, or go to the store, just to do the thing I want to do. But I can’t. I am always open to approach. And I never know when it coming. No situation is too inappropriate, no lack of make up, messy clothes, or even my fucking mother present, will stop strangers from approaching me and telling me they want me. I can’t even start about this happening online. That’s a whole other bag of shit for another day. But to have someone else see my reality has helped me a lot.
I still have no idea what it’s like to be another woman around my age and looks in this country as I don’t have enough (barely any) female friends here. I see well put together or hot women and wonder if they deal with this shit day in, day out too. There has got to be other women suffering and others even worse than me. But I haven’t started polling strangers…yet. I know as I’m alone a lot I get more stranger interaction and attention than if I was with a group or a friend. But being alone isn’t a automatic invitation for company. I do LOVE talking to strangers in public. But I do not like having to reject people all day. I will happily talk to any man who is pleasant and polite. We might talk for hours, about personal things. But this is NOT an automatic transfer into going on a date, sleeping with him or even just meeting up again. Random moments with strangers can be amazing. And I hate them getting tarnished every time by a man taking it the wrong way or even just interacting in the first place because they are sexually attracted to me. I can’t date or fuck every single person who talks to me or sees me across the street on a daily basis. And I don’t want to. I don’t want to have to take on and negotiate the desires of every person who wants me. Why can’t they just keep it to themselves? Take the good moment and move on. See me in the street and not say something. Drive past and think “phwarrr”, but don’t lean out the window and tell me. No man is gonna be the exception to the rule. No man is not going to disappoint me when they turn a nice connection and conversation into something sexual or wanting. Even if they are a 10. Being alive and in public isn’t a automatic sign that I’m here to be hit on or that being single means I’m available.
15 years ago I made a piece of art about owning the compliments that construction workers threw out from 4 floors up on some scaffolding, or out of a white van or on the building site at my university. I would write what they said and pin the paper to my studio wall. I didn’t understand the girls who were offended. I thought it was more empowering to own what they said than be offended by it. 15 years later, it’s gotten VERY old.
I’m not gonna start lying about my marital status or who I am when I talk to people. But after another affirming conversation with my mom I have decided it’s time to stop being polite and start saying NO. And that is a whole other bag of shit, how men react to a no. They try to negotiate with you, get offended or turn on you. So a polite exchange of numbers is a easier exchange and end than having a stranger haggle with you and coercing you over access to your time and body. But if I don’t start telling them I’m just not interested and the conversation was enough, they will never learn. Cause obviously no one has told them it doesn’t work.
I don’t have an answer to all of this right now. But I’m sick of holding it inside in case people think I’m too full of myself for saying I get hit on too much. Well to those people…spend a few months with me, and you will see, it’s not me thinking I’m ace that has got me to this point. It’s the relentless day in, day out evidence, 20 years of being sexually approachable, and being a open, friendly, different person that has brought me to a point of maddening frustration of this situation that has now been confirmed by a third party and affirmed my need to speak out.
Everyday Rape
This is a story i need to get off my chest. It starts well. But this blog is about sexual reality, not just a bunch of stories for random men to jack off to. This whole situation has made me incredibly angry. I don’t want to work. I dont want to be nice. And i certainly dont want to make more gross men cum.
It happened with a giant cock. The first time we met was in the bus. It was late. We couldn’t move around much and had to be sneaky. He couldn’t hurt me with his giant dick. It was quite fun. It was exciting to have such a fat dick to try out and play with. The second time was at his apartment. He has two annoying dogs. I hate dogs. I don’t really remember the details that much. We ate indian food which was good. And obviously I didn’t “split the bill”, women who do that ruin the world for the ones who believe in chivalry or actually have more to offer than most men thus deserve to be paid for. The sex was good. I didn’t want to stop playing with it, but it did hurt a lot. We kept having to stop, change positions, etc. I had my toys with me and i got to cum around that fat dick a lot. I would cum just when it slid in me. Even in the morning we had a bit more sex. We had a good time. I was meant to be leaving town that day. But i decided to get some new tires so i had to stay two more nights to wait to get them fitted and delivered.
I took the next night to myself out at my spot outside Vegas. But i thought it would be a good idea to have some more sex before i left town, incase I wouldn’t get any for a while. I never really see anyone more than once. When i do, they start to annoy me, the sex isn’t ever as good, it can actually become kinda awkward and less fun, i start to notice parts of their personality i don’t like and i become more true to myself, rather than just being fun and easy-going. I often am not around long enough to see people more than once or we just kind of ghost each other after the first or second time. I am not after a relationship or even finding connections to people. Been there done that, definitely dont need it.
So this was the fateful third meeting with the giant dick. I can call people out on pretty deep and personal parts of their personality very quickly and easily. And i had sensed a darkness within this boy. He revealed i was right and had quite an angry and violent past. I could sense he wasnt as authentic as he made out and that he was covering up large parts of himself to seem nice to me. His dogs annoyed me again.
I can’t remember if we had normal sex first or if the shit storm happened right away. I think it was during out second sex, because I had gotten really sore already. It took me two days to recover from the last meeting. And i got sore very quickly. I know my body. I know my vagina. I am a PROFESSIONAL at sex. Yet men think they know better than me when it comes to how to fuck.
Because his dick was so big I needed him to fuck me slowly and deep, rather than long or fast strokes. I made this clear EVERY time we had sex. Occasionally speeding up felt good but I couldn’t take it very long. This time i wanted to cum before we finished. I was tired and i wanted to go to sleep. I had a long drive the next day. And my pussy was hurting a lot.
I was lying face down with him straddling my legs and his cock inside me. I needed him to keep it fairly still and let me slide up and down it and grind on it in a way that didn’t hurt me and would make me cum. But every single time I started to enjoy it, he would speed up and start just fucking me. I would push back on him and tell him to stop, that it was hurting and that I couldn’t do that. He stopped again and let me take over. And again as i was enjoying it, he sped up and just started fucking me. Again i told him to stop. He was hurting me, it didn’t feel good and he was ruining it for me. Again he apologised and said he would let me do my thing. And AGAIN he couldn’t keep any fucking control of his fat annoying ass and started pumping at me. I was getting pretty angry by this point and when he started speeding up AGAIN, i freaked the fuck out. I pushed up and used my body to get him off me and get out from under him while telling him to get the fuck off me. I was saying “No no no i can’t do this, get the fuck off me, how the fuck can’t you do the ONE thing im asking you to do? You keep hurting me, I cant do this, its fucking gross.” He started apologizing and immediately made it worse….
“I’m sorry…i cant control myself.”
That was it. I was so done. However. I am a woman. And I don’t want to cause problems with a random man, in his house, with a self admitted history of violence. I apologised saying i was very sensitive to this kind of shit. And i stayed and went to sleep at his. In the morning it was awkward and i wanted to leave as early as i can. I stayed polite. But i did not feel polite.
In the hours and days since this, i have gotten increasingly angry and disgusted at his behaviors and at myself for letting it happen to me. Yes i stopped it. But i was fucking someone who “couldn’t control themselves” with a women, when his dick was so big it would hurt anyone. The more i dwelled on it, the more i could see it in all our interactions from the start. He was pushy and domineering but as a boy who is 7 years younger than me, it just made me think he was an idiot. Like dude, you may think you know shit, but you’re 27. You don’t know shit. And clearly he has no idea how to treat a woman.
I am so put off by all sex as now i see how deeply one-sided it is. I have 20 years and hundreds of men, and years of professional service under my belt. But when i fuck ANY guy, it’s a pre decided order of life that they control how we fuck. Because it is their dick inside me, its down to them to choose how that goes. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Why is it assumed that men know how best to fuck? Why do men get to pump at any rate they see fit? Why do they never let a woman with 10-100 times more experience than them, take the lead? Why do no men LISTEN to a woman when their dick is hard? It’s so fucking gross. I feel so fucking violated. And now I don’t want to give any man the keys to my body. They do not respect my specific sexuality.
The only sex i really enjoy is paid sex. These men understand the dynamic. They understand they are seeing a professional. They treat me with respect and give me the power, the control. They don’t need to micro manage me. Do normal men walk into kitchens at restaurants and tell the chef how to cook their food? Because that is what they are doing to me, every time i fuck a man who doesn’t give me the control.
As a woman, i am just a hole for a man to use how it feels best for his dick. He might be doing things he thinks is good for the woman….but guess what…WE KNOW BEST about what feels good for us and often, anything you do, isn’t what we want. But there is no precedent for men to lie back and let a woman use their body for their pleasure.
One of the reasons i like sucking dick is cause i make them just lie there, not touch my head, not thrust, not do anything. Just lie there and let me enjoy playing with their dick as my own toy. I get weird with it. I’m not trying to suck it in a way that feels good to them, im doing what i want with my mouth and hands. As soon as they ask something or move in a way to hint at me doing something or try to control the situation, I feel sick. I want to stop.
Why cant men let us enjoy using their tool as WE see fit? We have played with our vaginas our whole life’s, but you think you can make it feel good by poking us with your random pole? No. We know best. Stop fucking how you want. And start letting the woman show you how to treat her vagina. We aren’t passive objects to be pleasured. And a grown ass fucking man should easily be able to “control himself” around us. There are self-aware, strong women who know what they want out there, so I suggest you start listening to us. I don’t need to feel like im getting raped ever again.
Ps. I don’t need to hear he is a douche or any sympathy. He is no exception. He is no different to MOST men. I do not need to hear it. This is normal day-to-day life as a sexual woman. I am just exposing it.
“That’s patriarchy: how female sexual liberation led to male sexual entitlement”
The Guardian: That’s patriarchy: how female sexual liberation led to male sexual entitlement
…But what has happened in the intervening decades is that sexual freedom has become another realm of women’s experience for patriarchy to conquer. As soon as older feminists had won sexual liberation, patriarchy reframed it as sexual availability for men. Writer David Quinn was actually having a pop at #MeToo feminism in The Times when he stumbled onto an eloquent truth: “The only sexual rule today is ‘consent’, and men have been taught that women are potentially always sexually available because that is what ‘liberation’ means.”…
…And ubiquitous female sexualisation has manifested a reality in which young women find themselves in unwittingly sexualised situations all the time. Young women are right to feel that destigmatised sex has enhanced their traditional patriarchal status as sex objects, not liberated them from it.
“To all the grown men out there,” CNN reporter Kaitlan Collins was obliged to instruct in the wake of another GOP sexual harassment scandal last week, “the younger women who work for you don’t want to date you; do not want to be your soul mate; do not want to go to icecream with you; do not want to be your partner.”….(read more)
“Patriarchal culture + male biology = deadly mix for violence against women”
Patriarchal culture + male biology = deadly mix for violence against women
Sexual assaults on university campuses and executive offices may sound less commonplace than the stories we sometimes read about. The idea that rape and assault can happen in executive offices and on university campuses — in secure and guarded environments — can be hard to comprehend for some people.
We tend to see a “sick mind” behind the assaults. Yet sexual assaults in power-structured, hierarchical work environments and in executive offices are suspected to be common. And for every sexual assault being reported in a corporate office, there are probably a thousand unreported cases.
As a biologist, I study the variation and evolution of sex- and reproduction-related genes and sexual differences. As an activist, I study human nature including race, caste, class, sex and gender inequality; and for the past 20 years I have been working with women in rural India to promote empowerment and eliminate violence against women.
What’s happening in corporate offices is a tiny reflection of human history.
Sexual violence against women is not the result of a few odd, bad elements. Sexual violence is part and parcel of masculinity — much of it taught and socialized….(read more)
Rama Shankar Singh
LiveMe…Not OK
There are way way too many teenage girls on this site, some even younger who think its a good idea to sexualise their image in their bio pics or their stream. They wear clothes and dance in a way that could only be that way to entice men and boys to watch them. They are encouraging men to sexualise under age girls. They are their own worst enemy. They are SO SO unaware of themselves. They tell people their real names and dance in a way that even a woman of full legal age would be judged for. The are asking to be attacked, stalked or worse. This shouldn’t be encouraged. Other women need to teach girls how to use their woman hood in a positive way. Not lean on the basic fact that they are female and men want to take advantage of that. I have spent my life looking at feminism and sexuality in 21st century and this site and what young girls are like now is fucking GROSS. They need better parenting and mentoring on how to live. There will be a pedophilia crisis and people will wander why. It is cause young girls WANT to sexualise themselves. But don’t understand the effect it has on older men and how they could be taken advantage of or groomed into thinking certain behavior’s is normal. I have been a webcam girl, a stripper and a sex worker. I am also a highly educated middle class white woman. So i have seen this all from both sides. The thing is these kids on here would never think they need to re asses their behavior’s so they wouldn’t listen to someone with more experience. Even though I have done the thing they are failing at attemping…using their body for $$$ and attention. They need to learn the right way to do it. Gyrating and twerking in Booty shorts at 13-17 isn’t empowering or positive. Its fucking disgusting. I cannot express my anger at these stupid young girls enough. I will continue to tell them in their streams they are encouraging pedophilia. I am also a broadcaster on here and these gross little dumb bitches need help so they don’t ruin the site for all of us.
On the internet with 40yr old men watching is not the place to explore your sexuality when you are under 18.
I started using the internet for sexual gratification when I was 12, back in the day when there were only shit chat rooms and google didnt exist. I wasn’t exposing my own image. I got to explore my sexuality from the position of the viewer, not with the view on me. When i started broadcasting for sexual pleasure of other people wasn’t until i was 24. I had developed my own boundaries and rules for my body by this point. These teenage girls don’t have that. They are being shaped by the pervs who watch them and acting according to what they are told, not who they are and their own boundaries. I am way too mad about this to get online and broadcast myself right now so I came on here to express this. I have HAD ENOUGH of these dumb little girls doing a disservice to all the women that came before them who intentionally used their body and looks for financial, social and professional gain. There also is only one person in here out of all the viewers who aren’t a bot. This is all pointless. I hate you all. Even the stupid young women who are of age on here, wouldn’t know sexy if it hit them in the face anyway.
STOP GIVING DIAMONDS TO UNDERAGE GIRLS WHO SEXUALISE THEMSELVES WITH NO AWARENESS AS TO THE EFFECT THEY HAVE ON THEMSELVES, MEN AND THEIR BRAINS, AND FEMALE CULTURE AS A WHOLE.
“The One Way You Know You’re Having Feminist Sex”
The One Way You Know You’re Having Feminist Sex
Hurrah! You’re a feminist! (Ot at least I imagine you are, given that you’re reading this article.) But if you’ve ever looked at your sex life uneasily and wondered if it’s fulfilling all the beliefs you have when you’ve got your clothes on, fear not. There’s actually a fair simple test to determine whether the sex you’re having is feminist: are you able to communicate what you want and be heard? If so, high five. If not, don’t worry, you’re not a secret misogynist or a doormat. You just haven’t reached the full awesome feminist potential of your sex life yet, and that’s not a failure in any way. It’s just a new thing to be explored. Yay! Adventures!
By JR Thorpe
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