Devolving into dating app memoir.
I wonder if i can manage to write stuff while i wait for shows on streamate. There is a constant stream of thoughts going through my head while i sit here. I say too many of them outloud on cam. Maybe this is a way to stop me talking as much shit to these idiots. Im sure when i talk to someone i dont get any shows. Most of the shows i get are from people who dont even talk to me first or hover around the room. Just boom. In and done.
Some of the best shows i get are from that. People who know what they are doing. Have read my bio. Know they want me doing my thing of whatever mutual interest we have. They can be really long shows too. Then i never see them again. Gone. forgotten. I have always had sex amnesia. I forget what happened after its finished. And then i forget what their penises were like. On cam i forget what show we did. They all just blur into one.
I wonder if i should write about how i find the sex i do. How im the hunter.how i choose.
The high failure rate. Potential bio to fix it. Ultimately a new kind of dating app to be made.
I have been using dating apps and websites to find sex for about 12 years now. I never really used them for dates. Sometimes id go through phases thinking i wanted dates, but really i just wanted a certain level of respect to be gained/felt or earnt from my future partner before we had sex. Now i can comand that just with the sex act alone and never need the pretence of a date. I have also never looked for a relationship on them. I have found love on them. But i was never there for love. So i would say i have gained quite extensive knowlege and exerience of internet dating that i wish to share. Obviously it is just my experience from my perspective and privilidge position. That isnt nessersacry to disect. I just want to hold up a example of things that happen but dont get talked about in the hopes that when someone else feels the same they feel bolstered by someone else having felt or done it before, as well as titlate, entertain you, the wider audience, to question comonly held beliefs, and discuss potential ideas for progress.
I am going to have to have a good think about what my first online dating memory was. I think im remebering who it was. A boy called Tim. He liked snowboarding. I was living in my own flat in Camden in london at the time and it had already turned into a bit of a sex den. I seemed to be fucking a lot of people in secret at that point in my life and that worked out well as i seemed to be the obly person who lived alone in central london! Maybe that is why i had so amany men! Lol.
I think the first dating site i used was plenty of fish. I think. It had a reputation for being a hook up site. Perfect! I just checked my list and it was the night before my 26th birthday. I think we did the very traditional pizza and movie combo. Watching movies until we were litterally too tired and had to suggest going to bed….then we had sex. The few times after that were the same. As was most of the sex i was having at that time. Lots of sitting around watching things till it was too late to have any real fun as you were both too tired. To be fair that has happened recently too. Just with more talking rather than watching things.
After the first time i realised it wasnt just weirdos online, there were plenty of people like me looking for sex too. The next experience was one of my only bad experiences ive had from online dating. There was a long build up. He was deployed in the army abroad. Eventually i found out he had a wife and child. But he decided to come to London to visit me before he flew back home to see them. I was a differnt person then and put all the responsibility for cheating on the person with the partner. We had swapped pictures, but we hadnt skyped. Well. Despite having spent about a month talking to him when i finally met him outside kentish town train station he was nothing like i expected. He was shorter, shinier, sweatier, taughter, tenser. He oozed military, ridgid. We went back to my place and we started the usual pizza and movie night. However at some point i realised i couldnt stand him. Like couldnt physically be around him. But as he was apparently on a transfer back from Afgahnistan and his flught home wasnt till the next day, i didnt feel like i could kick him out. Instead, i tried a unique tac. I faked cyctitis. I used to get it pretty bad fairly oten and wouldn have to just sit in the bath to ease the pain. So i told him a bout had just kicked in and i had to sit in the bath. I sat in there for hours.. The pizza arrived, i stayed in there and ate it in the bath. Eventually i got out when i thought he would be too tired to want to hang out more. We went to bed. And he wasnt too tired. So we had awkward, stiff, hard, souless sex. In the morning we did it again i think. Eventually it was time for him to leave. When he got to the airport his flight had been delaued and asked if he could come back for a few hours. I faked some plans and stopped replying to his messages.
I had been so aware of the potential dangers of “online dating” when it was first emerging and I was embarrased to have had a bad experience and silly for not getting it right myself. It wasnt however, put off. I just learned, military men arent for me, I need to skype with people before i meed them to see what they actually look like and not to fuck men cheating on wives.
I was in england for about 6 months longer after that, using plenty of fish. I ended up meeting 5 poeple during that time. One was the reason i ended up leaving engand and travleling australia.
The first 6 months in australia i didnt use dating apps. Travelling, partying and australia were the perfect combination to find me plenty of amazign men to fuck whenever i wanted. I thin i got back on plenty of fish in november of 2011 cause i had crashed a moped and was bed bound for a while. I hate going without dick when i want it, so i started cruising online again. I
I managed to find a few guys in each place i went. Adding that to all the men i would meet in real life, my number from pre aus to post aus doubled. I moved to vegas next and back on plenty of fish. I wanted more options here so branched out onto match.com but soon found it way too much work, fielding all the messages from basically all the men on the site.
By novemebr 2013 Tinder had entered my life. Everything became infinitely easier. Only getting messages from men that i acutally found attractive was a massive leap forward in my experience online
so I would say i have a pretty good knowledge and experience of how to internet date.