wednesday
girls hate me. girls who know me, who are supposed to be friends, dont go out with me. i was told last night it was cause im always with so many guys when i am out. girls i know with boyfriends dont like me cause they think im gonna sleep with their boyfriends, or think i flirt too much. girls im mates with dont think they dont have much in common with me cause im obsessed with sex and my lifestyle is so different from them. im not the kind of girl they want to be associated with. girls in clubs hate me cause of how i dance and dress. cause i dont care what people think i just do what i want. and other girls dont like that. and they are mean to me. i have very few female friends left. i prefer just hanging out with boys. but now i only hang out with people i sleep with. im having a girl crisis. girls make other girls feel so bad. i wish people didnt care about what/who i do, how i dress, how i dance, who i talk to and how. i dont. and im happy. just other people make me feel bad.
ugh enough whinge off. boring. im not goin for sympathy. just thought id show a bit more reality!
met a fit boy on line today and he has just started talking to me on msn. so that will keep me busy for a while and 117 is coming over tonight. that will be nice and fun.
tuesday
so i spent the night with my ex tonight. not in that way.ex 87. we spent the night talking about our relationship and why we cant have casual sex now. i feel a bit drained. it was an emotionally difficult relationship and a lot of things went wrong for us and we talked about all of it. i need a cuddle. text 119 but he hasnt replied. i seem to be in my two weeks off sex. havent had any for a week and a day. 87 wanted it, but i didnt. im meant to be meeting 117 tomorrow. but might be too busy. then im due this week too, and its christmas. so who knows when its gonna be back on.
ive set up a couple of new profiles online looking for girls for group fun and looking for someone to be my slave. i need one, i am too busy and not spoilt enough. got a few lined up in both.
massively tired now…oh 119 came over on sunday night. he is so weird and left half way through. but he has appologised and is so hot its fine. and its nice to have someone who only ever comes over for a couple of hours and leaves me to sleep well. oh and the heavenly 120, my all time number one, stunning baby boy, has text today. id love to meet him before christmas. im so obsessed with his face.
i think i need to go to bed and imagine someone wants to cuddle me.
sunday
so i know i missed a few days but my dad came to mine this weekend for an early christmas. was lovely. and cause of that nothing fun has happened boy wise. im currently on skype with f6. his cock is amazing. and he just made me get in the bath and piss while i fingered my ass and pussy with rubber gloves on. would be great to actually meet him. ive only ever spoken to him on the internet. he has even worked for me and we never met. so weird. but really hot. anyway the ex 117 is texting me tonight. we are gonna meet on tuesday and play. maybe even have a bit of a date. i had a massive onslaught of texts on friday night. i couldnt meet any one cause of dad comin. same on saturday.
my period is due this week so better try and get a few people in before the christmas lul. im home till friday morning tho so ive got a bit of time. actually definately going on a date with the ex. which is hilarious. cause his girlfriend has gone home to the parents. im a nasty souless bitch. happy with it.
am very tired tonight and not feeling original.
so today im on the toilet blogging. it is too late reallly and i wanted an early night and i didnt do anything i planned this evening. i cancelled 123 so i could have a quiet night in preparing for christmas. but instead i went to a gig and kissed another boy. came home and been chatting and texting, eating cheese and facebooking for two hours and now its 2am. chattin to f2 and 118. i have stuck to my 100% record of pulling while out at work. so happy. just had 123 texting asking if i was back on with 117. stupid 117 told him we met up the other day. what is with boys needing to tell everyone everything. jeez. 117 wants to come over now too. but im saying no. did a lil skype with f5 but i was too tired and he is a tease. the boy i snogged, f6, has been textin all night since we left the gig too. he is very cute. may see him on saturday.
woke up this morning with 122. he came over last night and we were both cold, tired and cuddly so we didnt have sex. which was nice. i slept well with him and we did it this morning. but our hearts werent in it. we lay chattin for hours and i missed all my work this morning. we talked about sex so much we ended up doing it 3 times before he left and i got on with work. 125 text again being an arse about not textin him tonight cause he would be with his gf. i mean jeez, if he told me in the first place he had a gf maybe he could be pissed off. but i didnt know better. i should be pissed off with him.
123 and 117 are still texting me and 122 is out so i suspect he will call later. but its phone on silent time now.
tuesday
today was tuesday. i woke up late cause last night i was up late chatting to boys on line! 122 was meant to come over but he dissapeared. so i entertained myself with thai food, tv and chat. boring end to what started as a promising day. today has also been a bit dry. was gonna go see f1 again but a meeting got canceled so couldnt justify being in that part of town. so i had 3 hours to kill. i tried 119, 120, 122 and 125 and none of them were free. gutted. so i had to please myself with 66 on skype. 66 was someone i was sleeping with for two years. but he got married and we havent hooked up in 2 years. his marriage is not workin out any more, so he is back on me. after some work tonight 122 texted and wants to hang. so i am just waiting for him bringing dvds and good times. cant wait to feel his powerful hands on me. woop. bit tired tho. oh and i nearly forgot. when i was gettin the bus home just, who should walk up but 111 and his gf. they are back together. she confronted me the other week when we were out and tried to start something but i held it down and she ended up walking off. at the bus stop just, she walked up to me stared, wide eyed and walked off. my heart was racing and thank fuck we got different busses.
so after the drama of the weekend. it has been catching up a bit today. me and 117 chatted this morning and he told me he doesnt like his gf any more and has been broken since me and is sleeping with another girl too, but cant leave his gf cause its christmas. also said he has a really public relationship with her to make me jell. what a dick. but pretty funny. he left at like 12 to go to work. my best friend called me and told me this skank girl he’d been hangin with last night told her i had been trying to fuck another of their mates f3 and that i was being ridiculous and to leave their group of friends alone. it is pretty funny, 93, 117, 123, f1 and f3 are all like best friends. 123 has been texting me about the situation and asking to see me in secret again. we are gonna meet on wednesday. 120 has been texting again too. he is definitely my hottest boy at the moment. so glad to hear from him. need to see him asap. 122 text as well to apologize for having to go home. and we are making plans for the week. also talking to n1 and n2 and lots of other people on the net. but i think i might have a night in on my own today. catch up on sleep, get work done and give the lady a rest. let see how all this plays out.
ps i have been thinking about this as my diary and it is definitely the best idea cause i cant really tell anyone all this any more. no one understands and its all a bit insane. also no one can know im fucking their friends boyfriends or my exs friends or a friend or whatever. like new format. happy. now someone read this. think its amazing and give me a job reviewing men.
the past few weeks i have been sleeping with more people than ever. i am also meeting more people than ever, off the internet and in real life. so i have decided to use this blog to keep up to date with what i have going on. i havent been able to write much, anywhere near as much as i would like, on here cause i am so busy with work, so i wanna try and use this as a bit more of a diary. i litterally cant remember who i had sex with this time last week.
i have also been racking my brains as to how i can turn the amount of people i sleep with into a money making business. yes i know what comes to mind first, but a large part of what i do is find good people to have sex with. i dont want to be the one picked for sex, i want to still be the one in control and some how earn money. also the sex wouldnt be like it is if the boys were paying. so i need an external way of making money from this.
anyway i am going to be referring to each person by their number now. i also need a way of keeping track of who i am planning to meet and who i am liking off the interweb, but it might evolve naturally.
so this weekend –
friday night – i had a good sleep after a hard days work.
saturday – did a bit of tidyin an some nice stuff in my flat. went out to my old local on my own to meet f1, and bumped into my exs friends. saw f1 but he failed again to get away from his friends to see me. (we arent supposed to hook up). spent the night talking to 123. hes been tryin to get with me for a few weeks and is my exs best friend. he is really nice and we got on well and kissed really well so i couldnt really say no. we went back to mine, but i had to go out to do some work at 3am and wanted to meet 122 after so i made him leave. it wasnt great anyway. while i was out working i met f2 and kissed him. he wants to take me on a date. then i met 124. he kissed me, badly, but got really turned on and into me and 122 was gonna come over on sunday anyway so i let 124 take me home. he was some american guy. and had an incredible cock. and definately satisfied me. he stayed over.
sunday – 124 woke me up at like 8am to have more sex and then left at like 10am. which was good, cause i didnt really wanna hang out with him. i was really looking forward to 122 coming over. which he did at 2pm. we had a couple of rounds of awesome sex. i usually get bored of long sex but with him it just feels amazing and i loose my mind to him. he really knows how to handle me and hold me too. also we eat chips and chocolate and snooze on the sofa together watching movies. and he is a sex addict too. he unfortunately had to leave at like 8 to look after his dad. he was meant to stay so that was rubbish. but in some twist of fate, just as i was gettin bored, my ex 117, called me off 123s phone to tell me he knew about us. i was busy watching x factor so didnt wanna talk to him. he txt me later saying “you fucked my best mate”. he actually has a girlfriend now, who is an old friend of mine, ridiculous. so i said it shouldnt matter. in the end i phoned him and he said he missed me etc. so i told him to come over. he was out so had to go but we carried on textin each other and he left straight away and came over. i thought he might wanna talk or something, but as soon as we walked in we started kissing and he took me in my room and we fucked all night. Good job I dont get on with his gf anymore!
busy weekend and think that made it 4 in 24 hours. my new record!
well actually i didnt just take one boys virginity. as far as i know, it has been two. one was a little boy who was 17 when i was 22. due to too much booze i dont remember what happened or how it was, but i did think he was mysterious an exciting. i went out on my own that night and made friends with this group of 4 boys that i was teasing for being so young. one put in loads of work with me, trying to get with me and another, 44, sat moodily away from us and didnt speak to me all night, until he just came up to me and said to leave with him, now. he was very beautiful and now he is some kind of uber successful male model, which is cool. but being lectured at 9am about how an arts degree is pointless and how learning a real job, like finance is more important, by someone still doing their A levels. then being told all about Jew Camp. then having to walk him to the train station in the rain cause he couldnt figure out my directions, kind of took a shine off him. it wasnt until more recently that i found out that that memorable night was his first time.
the other cherry i popped was a when i was 23. he was 23 too. not sure how he got that far in life like that. and why he ended up with me. he was number 69 ironically. we were seeing each other for a little while then he sort of disappeared. well i think thats what happened. anyway he is a really successful photographer now. so that is a good track record for creating beauty and genius by taking virginities. cause im sure banging me first is the reason they are now successful.
it was my 19th birthday at a club in my home town, when it turned midnight, onto my actual birthday i decided i wanted to celebrate with some sex. i walked to the toilets and found the cutest boy nearby, number 25. i walked up to him, took his hand, and without saying anything, i took him into the girls toilets and fucked him. i told him i would be wanting more of that and that i would come and find him later. he was only about 17 and too scared to say anything. i found him and fucked him two more times that night and i didnt say another word to him the whole time. i never knew his name and wouldnt recognise him, even if he spoke to me. but it was a great start to my birthday.
this week i have discovered a brand new and exciting experience that i have thought would be a good idea. and worked really well. i had a boyfriend holiday. i was away at a festival the other weekend DJing and stage managing, and met a boy there, 113, on the first night. he was working on the stage we performed on. after the show we had some amazing tent sex and he did things to me that no one should do in a tent. it was really fun and he knew how to wind me up and turn me on in equal amounts. i moved to a different festival site in the morning and he stayed at this one for the weekend. he asked me to take his number before i left. we texted and called each other for the rest of the weekend and we arranged for him to come to mine when he was finished working.
he got back on monday afternoon and i met him at the tube station and brought him straight home to mine. he collapsed tired and hungry on my living room floor and he pulled me down and lay there making out for a while. i put him in the shower and ordered us some curry. we then spent the rest of the night eating, watching movies and fucking. in the morning i got up and made coffee and pancakes and then we spent the whole day doing the same again, eating, watching tv and fucking. it felt like we had been doing this for months and it was totally normal that we were holding hands and kissing and generally being wrapped around each other. that night he went out with his mates and then came home to me, where id ordered a pizza and gave him blow jobs on the sofa. he was going to leave on the wednesday night as i was going to go out. but when it got to about 8pm we decided another night in with food and fucking would be much more fun.
we talked about how and why this wierd little boring married life we were having was working. we are both really similar in our feelings and attitudes to sex and know that just cause we were acting like this, didnt mean we wanted to be together or do this any longer than we were. we liked the comfort and cosy funness of this gf/bf time but didnt want any more from each other. so when it came time for him to leave on the thursday we said our goodbyes and that we may see each other soon. since then we havent called or text each other. i think we both got everything we needed from our 4 days together and rather then being led on or leading someone on after one night of fake fun, our conscious decision to take a boyfriend/girlfriend holiday has left me feeling all warm and satisfied inside.
my sex drive is going sky high at the minute and i cant stop getting insanely horny no matter how much i am fucking. case in point, now. i have had a big weekend of it. thursday i got a new one, 109, very hot, has a gf, older, amazing in bed. we stayed up all night fucking. i love it when i look back on a night and realise the first person i saw and thought was hot, ended up in my bed. did that again on friday night. saw a total cutee, 110, at the pub, who was definitely a new face. later there was a room full of girls preying on this boy who was from out of town and staying at the place we were partying. he went to bed and i really wanted him so after about 10 minutes i went into his room and told him i was over the party and we should watch a movie. we both knew it was bullshit and i ended up just blowing him and fucking him for ages, while he just lay back. he kept saying, you fucking love sex dont you? after we were done i got straight up and told him id leave him to get some rest before work in 3 hours and left. im pretty sure i had just used him to get exactly what i wanted. but unlike the reverse, when a girl uses a boy, at least he gets to cum. i went home to bed, but when i woke up at 4pm i was insanely horny. luckily 107 was online and feeling the same way. so he came straight over for some fucking and take away pizza. pretty ideal. then i left him to go out with the girls. 109 had already text again and was super eager to meet later. so we sent each other dirty messages all night until we couldnt wait any longer. obviously that wasnt that long as thursday night was so hot. i picked him up on the way home and we started fucking pretty much as soon as we got in. he is so good. despite loving and having a lot of sex, fucking him makes me realise what sex really is and how is should feel. we stayed up till about 6am doing this and after some sporadic sleep he left this morning. quite excitingly i realised i had got 3 in 24 hours. i think that is a joint record with a couple of other days. now its sunday lunch time and im planing how to end my big weekend.
just in case you were wondering how i got on with my single plan to do list i thought id update it. not sure i have many ambitions now though. im kind of getting everything i want.
cheating is the new monogamy. i have started sleeping with a few guys with girlfriends. one guy ive been getting to know is married with a kid and is coming to see me in two weeks. one is the best sex ive had in ages and is incredibly hot and is hilariously over eager. all my best girls, well the single ones, keep finding themselves falling for or gettting with guys who then reveal are “kind of seeing someone”. ultimately boy code for “in a very serious long term relationship”. thier facebook status even says, in a relationship with…. not that we have been checking. my theory is that i would never cheat on anyone and if anyone cheated on me, i would cut thier dick off. however, if someone wants to cheat and they are hot, well that is their problem. its their responsibility and decision. my friend has unfortunately fallen for a guy with a live in girl and asked for my advice on how to cope with the potential fun and pitfalls of an affair. i wanted to share my advice to her, because remaining guilt free, maintaining deniability and knowing that you are winning is most important to survival and i found it quite empowering. this is a guide for deciding and preparing for entering into such a situation.
1. you are doing nothing wrong. you are not kissing or fucking him (or any other inappropriate behavior) no matter how much you may be doing it in real life. convince yourself of this and you will be fine and will not falter if someone questions you. you have to genuinely believe it your self and believe you are doing nothing wrong.
2. if you manage to get your self in that mind set. then you are pretty much ready to do anything. you have deniability!
3. however. if you think you will get much too into him to your detriment, then it might not be wise to pursue it too much, cause you will get hurt and feel rubbish every time he sees her, talks to her, and every minute he isnt with you.
4. but, when you really like someone none of that matters, an the pain is worth the good times. till the weight of the pain does not balance the fun.
5. so once you have weighed up if the pain is worth it, and have got total self belief in your deniability. then have fun! nothing beats a secret affair.
6. one point to note would be to find out his intentions. for you to do this he has to be up for throwing caution to the wind when he is with you alone. you dont want all the emotions and pain for no banging!!! he has to bang you, or dont do it!!!!
7. you have to be strong and take silent pleasure that he picked you and you have the power (convince yourself of this) despite the fact he wont leave her and will ultimately choose her, you still have the upper hand cause you are the fun, bit on the side, dirty secret, and he would risk everything for you, the mistress! even if that is all you ever are.
8. enjoy it.
9. when it hurts to much, stop it. and be aware that might mean having to change part of your life where your lives intersected.
10. and finally. be prepared that people might find out. you have deniability. but if that fails you could also be hated. but that will be by a girl you dont know and her boring friends. oh and judgmental people. and probably a few more besides. so make sure you can handle that. your real friends wouldnt ever hold it against you though. unless it is one of their boyfriends. and that might have needed a few more points to cover surviving that!
yes i am a mega bitch. sorry. maybe honesty is not the best policy, in all ways.
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