Art Archives - Welcome To Me

How I strive to experience the world.

How I strive to experience the world.

How I see other peoples insides.

The understanding I have of how everything is structured is almost a model in my mind. Not an explanation, but a visualization. The map inside, the territory yet to explore, the plane of every day operations, language and where most people are. The external territory of places and people that expand your inner map. You inner map that is your knowledge of the world, places you have been, thing you have seen, experiences you have had, turned into landscapes. Everything you know about the universe is actually just you. There is nothing outside of what your body is currently experiencing. Everything else you are aware of, is inside you. The vastness of the universe, the infinite possibilities of life, all fit inside your physical body. The map has areas in you even you haven’t explored. Dark forests and valleys, mountain tops, far away horizons. The more you know, understand, can navigate and can transmute the map, the more you know you map, the dark areas explored and found to be exciting and not scary any more, or areas you don’t want to go back to can be avoided, you can take new routes to unconquered peaks, you can move from one location to the next instantly, you can play in you, which is the universe, limitless, that can be carried out in the territory of physical realty.

I Broke My Celibacy. This Is What I See.

My body, my skin, reaches out for you, for all of you, for every part of you.
I want to envelop the soft flesh that holds your inner landscape,
the map that is you.
I can feel it through your skin.
I can see everything your body has been.

I want to hold and soothe and see all the pain and trauma, joy and freedom in your sinews. My inner map is open to you.
There is enough space in here for all of you.
Nothing here scares me. Use it as a way into you.
Find where our maps overlap and walk into yours with the curious spirit of fearless adventure I have within me.

I can see the map in you, in every muscle, in your skin, in what is seen as the body containing the soul within. Your body isn’t just a vessel. It has been shaped and holds barely beneath a thin surface your experience of being you. I want to hold you and stroke you and soothe you, you all, till you can let go, till you can feel all the ways you’ve distorted being you, till you dissolve and become reborn as the supple, resilient, real you, under, in, of, the human animal you actually are. Let this embrace be the beginning of your journey to rediscover and embrace your true self, wholly and fearlessly.”

As I touched your skin, the sensation was overwhelming.
The smoothness, your muscles, dissolved me from within.
Existing only to focus on your body. Solely

Breathless in awe and wonder at the perfection
I wonder how an artist could re create this intense reflection.

David. Marble. Softness. Veins. A homage to the human body.
Capturing the obsession with form
That is the deepest most human experience of all.

Maps

Touching your arm against mine 
Isn't a small gesture.
It isn't just flesh rubbing flesh.

It's not skin on skin.
It's our inner maps melting together.
It's you letting me in.

It's a portal to a reality 
That only exists between you and me.
It is a landscape, where only we can be.

Every part of the body 
Is experiencing the smallest sensation.
While the mind is blank and free.

In a universe that can only be ours
It is all of you.
It is all of me.

Analogies

Sex today is as if we are living in a future where the only sport is basketball. In a future where we have lost all memory and record of the range of sports we currently have, there is only basketball. When someone says “Do you do/like/enjoy sport?” they mean basketball. They mean dribbling a ball, on a court and trying to throw it in a basket on a stick. There is a range of ways to engage in basketball, you can play alone in your yard. You can be a world famous professional player whos’ whole life is basketball, playing to a ever increasing level of complexity. But there is no golf, football, soccer, gymnastics, etc. All the types of movement involved in any other sport is forgotten. This, is where we are at with sex today. Over the millennia, social conditioning and cultural norms and rules have slowly eroded our knowledge of the potential for sex and intimacy. We have forgotten how to move our bodies together in ways that create intimacy and community. We have forgotten how to communicate through our bodies. We have lost the cyclical nature of the female sexuality. We have lost the balance that roots our species, our sexual capacity. The first principle of being human is that we are sexed animals whos whole being has been designed over millions of years to reproduce. It is our guiding light and life force. It is why we are here and the only way we will survive. And yet everyone is playing basketball and the whoile world is becoming sick. Our bodies and minds deformed by the focus on basketball. The exclusion of people who don’t like basketball or the soul crushing experience of submitting to a game you don’t really want to play but do it anyway, over and over again. We are going mad. We are lacking something so core to our physcal experience of being human and we wonder why our minds are suffereing.

Dogs in hats playing poker, is the human condition.

Meditation. Imagine language doesnt exist. It is that simple. You don’t need to get rid of “thoughts”, you just dont allow yourself to form words. Imagine a white board, and erase the words as they form. Sensation exists The present moment exists. Concepts, thoughts, questions, and rumination, cannot exist without words. Keep forgetting language. What is left? Grasp onto it and sink into it. It expands exponentially. Without language you are able to experience awareness like an animal. Like a big cat or dog lying in the sun. Not asleep, but not alert. Enjoying the sensatgion of the warm sun on their fur Enjoying the comfort and contentment of existing. No judgement on the moment, just the physical sensations of the body.

If you Haven’t…then Don’t Fucking Speak To Me

There is a reason I speak about things. I know. From experience. First hand. Many more truths than you can comprehend. Unless you too have the same quantity and quality of first hand experiences, you have absolutely nothing to say, or offer me. I’ll add your data to my information pool, but it won’t change anything I have to say, or disprove anything I have done and know. You are nothing. You are a point in an expansive data set that is my brain. So if you want to scream your differeing opinion or attack me about how I’m wrong, link me to your 15 years of writing, research and relevant experience, or set up your own platform and articulate your points, create, cause you cannot effect what I make or do, your experience of the world is up to you. I see your projection and low IQ takes. You are all midwits, loosers, fakes. Fuck off. I don’t care if no one ever gets to see, or benefit, from what I know, from being me.

If you haven’t fucked 1000 men, 60% in a professional, legal, brothel setting, you cannot talk to me about male sexuality, sex, the human body, commodification, capitalism, female sexuality, society, sex work, porn, intimacy, peoples insides, intimate conversations, what men only show during sex, mental health, the human animal, fundamental needs.

If you haven’t been a sex worker for 13+ years, you cannot talk to me about sex work, porn, male sexuality, toxic cultures, men, social attitudes and feminism.

If you haven’t been an artist or writer for 25+ years, you cannot speak to me about free speech, creativity, art, merit, philosiphy, ideology, feminism, society, culture or masculinity.

If you haven’t lived in more countries than me, 3, then you cannot speak to me about international observations, politics, the western condition or society.

Unless you have met 100,000 + people from every corner of the globe, you cannot talk to me about people, personality, patters, society, culture, humanity and cilization, relationships, behaviour, or stereotypes.

Unless you have spent 5+ years living in isolation, you cannot talk to me about the human condition, mental health, lonliness, society, culture, politics, enlightement, spirituality, history, civilization of the battle of the sexes.

Unless you have lived, unhoused in the wilderness for 3+ years, you cannot speak over me about nature, the human animal, the physical body, men, the conciousness of flying insects, energy, reality, space, time, or anything in the physical the universeve.

If you are not in the top 2% of IQ, you cannot know anything I do not, you cannot see the world or even comprehend what I know.

Unless your brain is a hyperconnected AI network, you cannot comment on the patterns in the world, in people and in society and culture.

Unless you have rebuilt your body from scratch, recoonnected to every single muscle and fiber in your being and restructured your posture, symetry and aesthetiscs, you cannot tell m anything about the body, the human animal, the mind body connection, being embodied or the female physical enlightenment.

Unless you have had 300+ hours of intensive therapy, I do not want to hear what you have to say on mental health, trauma, parenting, personality, ego, enlightenment, embodiment, mind body connection, their sexuality, their body, narratives and conditioning.

Unless you have been persuing an alternative path, conciously, in your number one special interest, operating outside of narratives and biases for 16+ years, you have nothing to say to me on sex, feminism, masculinity, the body, male female duality, freedom, enlightenment.

If you have not lived for many years as a ego free, natural human animal, I don’t repect anything you have to offer me.

I am over pretending to care that being me makes other people feel bad. I am a high IQ, unique, well educatedd, upper middle class, artist, and I’m fucking proud to be me, to know what I do and see the world the way I do. If you disagree with me, kindly fuck off and climb your own mountain. I’ll seee you and respect you when you raise yourself up to my level on your own path. Until then, you are nothing but a data point in my view from above.

As I comb through my archives, I want to talk about things that arise that I have never put into words. Especially around my physical body. Moving right now and seeing what used to terrify me. Seeing the past me with the kinder eyes of now and with the wisdom from the deeper understanding of my body and my experience of being a human.