Ideas Of Things To Write
write up some of the sex scenarios i do at work to demonstrate feminist sex how i work and how it is female/perforner first practical run throughs of sex run throughs of how to own the room and how to not let a man use your body arguments against rad fem positions how what i do and how i see it being transferable to be a industry standard why is sex female why do we need sex arts how the body can save the human Read More "Ideas Of Things To Write"
RadFems and Porn
It’s so weird that rad fems blame the porn industry for porn culture. When porn and prostitution have always existed. The problem isn’t porn. It’s the MAINSTREAM commodifying porn imagery. This is cause sex is so suppressed that masses enabled porn to spill over in to the mainstream. Instead. Let’s make porn and Sex work the way to show people how female led sex is and can be!!!! That is what I do every day. Read More "RadFems and Porn"
Performative Sex…A ReWorking
I had a problem with my essay on Perfomative Sex pretty much since I wrote it. It was too basic. Too similar to scripts currently being acted out sexually. Too close to a woman having to show off and perform for a man like she already does. I didnt quite capture the essense of the concept I was trying to share. After a sexual experience last week I was given the insight I needed to clarify this and expand upon it. Maybe even tear it up all together. Read More "Performative Sex…A ReWorking"
Conceptual sex Taking the masculine role work concept real life sex concept work male role, setting boundaries, trying to avoid problemactic languare and scenarios, not performing patriachal female stereotypes – aesthetically or behaviourally wearing no make up hairy taking control showing myself off rather than like giving a twirl for approval not answering things i dont agree with schooling people on what they are doing is problematic taking on the male role taking space for me to Read More "Conceptual Sex"
Yo. All Men. Its Fucking OVER!
I am DONE with men. All men. It is time, after 30 years of putting them first and getting zero in return, to cut the fuckers out my life. I have spent the last few years being incredibly protective and defensive of myself after years of abuse and harassment from men. Men in the street, at bars and clubs, on dating apps, in relationships, after one night stands. Over and over. It got to the point where I couldn’t leave my house without at least 5 men sexually approaching me EVERY DAY. The first year in the bus I didn’t wear shorts once. I wore hats, large clothes, baggy hoodies, to hide my femininity, so men wouldn’t see an attractive woman alone in a bus. I have spent the last 5 years avoiding all social situations where I have to interact with men where I don’t know their intentions. I have called other women stupid for putting themselves in obvious situations with men that lead them to being harrased, raped, hit on, or attacked. It had gotten to the point where I knew it was irresponsible for me or other women to be alone with any man you aren’t sexually interested in yourself. I’ve had married bosses proposition me, tour leaders on trips rape me, strangers approach me constantly. One time I’ve given an older man the benefit of the doubt during a nice chat at starbucks that seemed genuine, intelligent and platonic, and gave him my number so we could share more ideas. This man was older than my father. He went bat shit crazy. Hitting on me and then abusing me when I rejected him. A man in his 60s. This has all meant I’ve spent the last few years rejecting seemingly innocent or pleasant social interactions or… Read More "Yo. All Men. Its Fucking OVER!"
i cant take it any more
I just cant take it any more. Reading things about prostitution and sex work. About whether it should be legal, whether its exploitation, workers horror stories, bad business practices, sex trafficking and all the other bullshit used to suppress the acceptance of our need to access sex. This is a fucking health crisis. And more than that for me, its a personal crisis. I cant take it any more. I am a sex worker. I am a prostitute. I am a independent woman in charge of my own life. And i desperately want and need my chosen field to be recognized like any other. I do this work not cause its “real work”, not cause i want a job, not cause I’m forced or have no other options. I do it cause I LOVE IT. It is my passion. It is my calling. Its what I love spending my time doing, Its what I want to do for the rest of my life. It is what makes me want to exist. I am so sick of the narratives around sex work. I’m sick of hearing sex workers claim their right to “real work”. I’m sick of people who have no inkling of what it is like to sell sex, that it is oppressive and bad for people. I’m sick of people ignoring the massive mental health crisis that is emerging from the lack of intimacy in our lives. I’m sick of men shooting people cause they don’t have access to sexual services. I’m sick of sex being treated like a toxic thing. I’m sick of the culture shaming casual sex. I’m sick of…. Read More "i cant take it any more"
What is This Sexuality….Female Dominance not FemDomme
I have been trying to define my current sexuality for some time now and the best I can come up with is that I have the sexuality of a man. I am striving for that big dick energy of a 40 something rich fat man, laying back, smoking a cigar, making young pretty things do what he wishes, twirl around on his dick and try their hardest to impress him and keep him happy…Dan Bilzarian…even though he isnt fat. I have been struggling for quite some time with the concept of Female Domination, being a Domme, a Dominatrix, and FemDom. Im not sure when it happened, probably came from repeated interactions online at work, where I realised that the majority of men who want to be dominated, want the role of a dominatrix played out on them. The vast majority of FemDom porn and performers stick to the script. Dress a certain way, behave a certain way, act out certain behaviours and attitudes. Be mean, wear intense outfits, cause pain, humiliate him…all in the way HE wants. HE wants to be treated a certain way and he is making a woman do that to him. Yes the women “want” to domme in that way, cause that was BDSM is. But do they “want” to in the same way they “want” to wear make up or “want” to be empowereed in any of the other ways capitalism and the patriachy has scripted for us? Is the want from a lack of the concept that it could be something else than what already exists. If you really semantically break down the concept of Female Domination, to me, logically it means where the woman gets to do what SHE wants with the male. Its not a set role, its not even your own… Read More "What is This Sexuality….Female Dominance not FemDomme"
Women Know Nothing Of The Possibilities Of
For some time I have wanted to write a follow up to the original piece “We Know Nothing of the Possibilies of Sex” that reconstructs the narrative of sex that I had deconstructed. Something that has come up that I wanted to address was womens complicity in the patriacal suppression of our sexuality. I have shared my first piece with a friend who has shared it with other women and men and bblah blah blah I knew I neeeded to clarify things when my best friend, an enlightened, spiritual woman, told me she had yet another dissapointing sexual interaction where she couldnt get the man to make love to her in the way we have conceptualised, he still just fucked her, despite her explaining it all to him. He didnt spend time on her pleasure like she now feels entitled to, as should all women. He didnt even “pretend to try”. And she also said “Man, I dunno how you deal with bad sex.” That immediately created a very visceral reaction of shock and disgust. What did she mean? How did she think I was still having bad sex? Did she think I was still lying back and letting random men use my body how they wish, with the slight hope that my pre sex chat about enlightened sexuality would change their minds and how they use their bodies in a brand new way to give me the sex I craved? How could she think that still submitting to men giving her their sex was anything like what I had talked about previously? And then it hit me. Since I conceptualised a space for women to explore their sexuality without man taking the lead with pumping and pounding, squashing and overwhelming, I havent talked about the womens role in creating… Read More "Women Know Nothing Of The Possibilities Of"
without sex i am nothing.
without sex i am nothing. i am sat in the library crying cause my body is aching to be touched so badly. Its all ive wanted for the longest time now, like a month. is to just spend time in bed with someone. to feel my skin on someone. to have sex over and over. to be held. and touched. to kiss someone. to have someone touch me like they love my body and what it can do. i feel sick right now.. its so painful i want to vomit. its entirely all consuming. a few hours, a day, a night, isnt enough. i need days to open up and relax and unwind and connect. laying down with someone i like is when i am happy. peacful, content. no mind. doing what i am supposed to be doing. it is my purpose. and without it i have nothing i like or enjoy. i dont exist. Read More "without sex i am nothing."
“Screw Calves and Pecs—I’m a Dick Woman”
Who says there’s no female equivalent of being a butt man, a boob man or a leg man? …It’s not because I’m not shallow. I’m as shallow as any ass, tit or leg man out there. But I haven’t had my sexual preferences catered to in such a cartoonish, excessive way throughout my life—and so, like a lot of women, I don’t really feel comfortable going around talking about it. What does that look like, to have your preferences catered to? Think about the first time you opened a Playboy as a kid. You, men, have been fed hundreds of thousands of images of women in submissive, deferential poses in ads and art and porn and films your entire lives. There are entire songs written about women’s body parts: “Legs,” “Ass Man,” and “Baby Got Back” to name a few, to say nothing of various and sundry references to “American thighs.” In women’s corner is that one TV show I Love Dick, which is actually about a guy named Dick and was quickly canceled, even though it was critically acclaimed. This steady gush of ass-, tits- and legs-ism has deeply shaped your way of thinking about women’s bodies. So when you sit around and rank women’s body parts by your personal preference, you are participating in something called “dismemberment,” which sounds pretty gruesome! It’s cultural conditioning. In other words, it’s not that women don’t fetishize men’s body parts or their bodies. Hooboy, do we! We just don’t have the privilege of being indulged and encouraged, and in control of most art and media, so that we can sit around ranking this shit all day long as if we’re piecing together our dream guy like in that accidental documentary about misogynistic nerds called Weird Science. Before you go parroting back some old myths about men and sex — that you’re more… Read More "“Screw Calves and Pecs—I’m a Dick Woman”"
Today is my 20 year sex anniversary…Loosing My Virginity.
To Me: Today is my 20 year sex anniversary. And I dont want to do anyone about it. I am 18 people away from a total of 400. I had kind of hoped I could co inside my 400 with my 20 year but the circumstances have not arisen so I will not force a number correlation. I am working on the bus at the moment. It is driving me mad. Its taking forever. but it is pretty fucking awesome. im scared to be excited about it incase it isnt gonna be as good as i think it is!!!! She is taking up most of my brain at the moment. So i guess so it shall be that my 20 year sexiversaty is spent introspectively and self indulgently. It feels right. like a lot changed at that moment and now is a time to reclaim some of that space for myself. Honor my journey. Not needing to share it with anyone else, physically. It is of more benefit to me mentally and physically to honor my own body rather than needing anyone else to honor it, as my celebration of my sexuality and sexual journey. i know now that no one can know and honor my sexuality enough right now to be worthy of spending time with my body on such a momentous occasion.. I find some of my musings exceptionally obnoxious, when reading them back, almost immediately. But it is only obnoxious if its shared. if not shared, it is just my thoughts. and we can think whatever we like. My brain got foggier and foggier as the day went on today. I am exhausted. The bus is progressing slowly right now and my attempt to mulit task left me completely cotton wool brained. I was ready to go… Read More "Today is my 20 year sex anniversary…Loosing My Virginity."
I want to be able to be performative in my sexual acts. I want to be a goddess. I want to show off. I don’t want to be suppressed, manipulated, have sexual acts performed on my repose body. Read More "Performative Sex"
Writing About Writing
I have to write something as I have ages to kill while I wait for things to back up on my phone. I have a few things Ive been thinking of writing: A Bus Sex Series The Nature of a Promiscuous Woman – I have not slept with a lot of men because I have fallen for a lot of mens shit. I have slept with a lot of men because I chose to sleep with them. They are my conquests. I am not theirs. Cycles Intimacy The Body and female strengths in enlightenment The body is everything. As soon as awakening enters the body, enlightenment becomes possible. Read More "Writing About Writing"
We know nothing of the possibilities of sex.
We know nothing of the possibilities of sex. I have had sex with hundreds, maybe even around a thousand men. I have done almost all the “interesting” and “kinky” things I am interested in…and some I was not. And I have never once had sex in a truly interesting way. When it comes down to it sex is a penis sliding in and out of a vagina and the main goal of sex is for a man to have an orgasm in that vagina. And this is achieved by the man using the vagina as a surrogate hand. The hand they use to wank themselves to orgasm in whatever way they enjoy it. Once all the bells and whistles of what is considered “foreplay”, “kinks” and “games” are over, you are still left with a man, pumping away at a vagina until they can cum. There is only one pace this can happen at…the pace the man needs, to cum when he wants. Despite the fact I have slept with tens or hundreds of times more people than the man, I personally am still left underneath him as he figures out the best way for him to cum while seemingly trying to provide pleasure from the chance that what he is doing feels good to my vagina. Even when I’m on top, physically, mentally or kink wise. I am never in control of the depth, pace or position. I am maneuvered, manipulated, contorted, held down, lifted up, my back forced into a deeper arch, legs pinned behind my head, face buried in a pillow, ass held up as im pumped at from below. And half the time the screams and moans with which i very loudly react, are not that of pleasure, but from that place where pleasure meets pain,… Read More "We know nothing of the possibilities of sex."