One sentence changed my entire life. I remeber it and pin point the second my life changed. And as I am sitting here thinking about it, I realise, there were two pin pointable moments. Maybe even three.
The first was when I was 15. I had gone to Tower Records in town to a record signing by Muse. I skipped school in the afternoon with a girlfriend to go. In the line in front of us were two cute boys. One with blonde ringletted hair, the other, stockier with dark hair. Both wearing flares and generally being cute boys. At some point they mentioned that they were going to The Flapper and Firkin pub on friday night to see a band. That was my shit, and I wanted to bump into these two boys again and have a reason to talk to them, so I made note of this and decided it would be a good idea for me to go. I managed to convince a family friend to be allowed to come out with me to the pub, a first time for both of us. None of my school friends were allowed to go to the pub. I dont really know why I was! I had braces. I wore flares and addidas shell toes. We werent at the pub long before I genuinely ended up at the bar behind the two boys I had hoped to bump into. I tapped them on the shoulder and said “Hi, were you at the Muse signing the other day?”. Obviously they were. One showed me his shoe he had gotten signed by them and conversation ensued. I ended up dating the stocky one. And then becoming part of his friendship group. One girl becoming my best friend. I cheated on him with the curly haired boy, which started after we went shopping for my boyfriends birthday presents together. He was the third ever person I slept with. I never did with the boyfriend. We would hold hands under the table at the pub while my boyfriend sat on the other side of me. He would rub my leg while my boyfriend kissed me. We would met up and secretly talk all the time. It was the only time I ever cheated and it was so fun as a teenager and it didnt really matter. Obviously neither of those relationships lasted long. I made art about the people I met. They became my main friends. I started partying at indie pubs and discos all the time with them. From there I met so many people, my next group of friends, my first love, I had so many amazing experiences, discovered so much and got to have fun I never would have for the next few years if I hadnt heard those two boys saying where they were going and when.
The second was one night while I was out partying at my old student union when i was 21. I had graduated a year before and gone back for my friends night. I was going through the “new rave” phase and was dressed ridiculous. I was doing my own version of breakdancing…drunkly doing backflips while dancing like i was in a 90s music video. When I went to the toilet, one of the girls who had been DJing came into the hall after me and stopped me to say “who are you? what are you?” She introduced herself as being one of the Queens of Noize. She told me she Djed at festivals and clubs all over the country and world and she wanted me to be their dancer. We chatted and hung out and I took her and the other half of the duo to a house party after the club. A great time was had by all. Several days later I ended up going with them while they took private cars around London to see different bands they knew play, went to a indie dog show and then they DJed at a couple of different parties. I met loads of celebs and danced the night away. Within a week I was working as their assistant. I spent the next 4 years working in the music industry. They managed Florence and the Machine, Djed, had a radio show on the BBC, and started a crazy night club that got to be a stage show. I got to be their assistant on everything they did. I got to do everything from designing flyers and art work, to tour managing, digital marketing, running the night club, book keeping, dancing, booking festivals and events. And I even ended up DJing myself and got to have sets all around London, in Paris and during their stage show at all the major and some minor UK festivals, like Glastonbury and Bestival. If that woman hadnt seen me and come and asked me who I was that night, I wouldnt have had the best and most incredible 4 years possible. I fulfilled so many fantasies, became friends with people whos posters I had on my walls as a child and so many things I couldnt have even dreamed of doing.
The last one, and probably the most life changing, the one that started me thinking about this, was while I was still working for the Queens. I was the liason for a boy who was doing some design work for us but lived out of town, so we communicated via email and messaging. It didnt take long for us to establish we found each other attractive and our messaging quickly turned sexual. Turns out we were both pretty dirty and we would often Skype each other while I did terrible things like piss on myself in the bath then fist my pussy and fuck my ass. He had such a big dick. I was enjoying my highly sexal life at the time, meeting guys off dating websites for sex, being the go to girl for any dude I knew in the real world to cyber sex with in the early days of facebook messenger, and had discovered chatroulette and would spend hours online masturbating with disembodied dicks on webcam. One day while messaging with the boy he asked “Have you seen MyFreeCams? Its loads of girls doing sexual stuff on webcam for money but its free to watch.” This might have been the most life changing sentence in my life. I went to look at it and became facinated with the girls. Within a few weeks I had decided to start doing it myself despite a couple of people i sounded the idea off against, mostly saying it was a bad idea. Infact, it was the best idea i had since saying yes to the Queens 4 years before. My first month on webcam I was the 39th highest earner on a site with over 20,000 other models. I have been in the sex industry for 8 years now and have again gotten to fulfil fantasies I had and experienced things i never dreamed of. I have made money i didnt know was possible, travelled the world and am currently living a life of joy, facillitated by sex work. I was able to find my passion and purpose and that may never have happened if that boy didnt tell me about that site. I have told him that many times over the years. And we still have never got to meet in real life.
The more I think about it, the more moments are occurring to me that are pivotal points in my life. Seconds that have reshaped a life. Turning points that couldnt have gone totally different directions. Part of the reason I live the way I do is because I know every second matters. These moments can come any time any place. I have always been open and available for these things to happen and have been lucky enough to make the most of opportunities that come along. I say yes. I put myself in the right place at the right time. and do it for the story. So I am pretty proud of and grateful for, the story I get to tell.
