March 23, 2022

Well it has been a long time since Ive written and a lot has developed for me. I think its worth pointing out that I have spent the last 3 years working with multiple therapist for my mental health and working on fixing postural issues and trauma encoded in my body. During this process I have been diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. I relate heavily to the diagnosis of Asperger’s even though we arent supposed to call it that anymore. But it matters to me. Asperger’s is a very certain type of Autism that is mostly associated with men, and male genius, and male behavior that is actually normalized by society, where as a woman with Asperger’s is the opposite of what society says a woman should be. So in terms of people understanding me clearly, I think it important to identify with something that is typically considered male.  This has also been my journey with sexual devolopment. Taking on the role, attitude, performance or male sexuality in order to highlight how contradictory our male and female sexual narratives are. Where I was at when I last wrote about this, was a place of burden. I knew sex was wrong. I knew the sex I had been having wasnt what I wanted. I had thought of how it might be different and with this knowledge I tried to have the sex I wanted by doing all the work. I would make them lay back while I indulged in their bodies for hours, and got a 5 min of standard foreplay in return. Ive helped men explore their interest in strap on and anal play, and got nothing in return. My pleasure was received by doing things I wanted to, even if it wasnt directly pleasurable for me. Pleasuring… Read More "Finding Sexual Supremacy Through Celibacy"