February 13, 2019

To Me: Today is my 20 year sex anniversary. And I dont want to do anyone about it. I am 18 people away from a total of 400. I had kind of hoped I could co inside my 400 with my 20 year but the circumstances have not arisen so I will not force a number correlation. I am working on the bus at the moment. It is driving me mad. Its taking forever. but it is pretty fucking awesome. im scared to be excited about it incase it isnt gonna be as good as i think it is!!!! She is taking up most of my brain at the moment. So i guess so it shall be that my 20 year sexiversaty is spent introspectively and self indulgently. It feels right. like a lot changed at that moment and now is a time to reclaim some of that space for myself. Honor my journey. Not needing to share it with anyone else, physically. It is of more benefit to me mentally and physically to honor my own body rather than needing anyone else to honor it, as my celebration of my sexuality and sexual journey. i know now that no one can know and honor my sexuality enough right now to be worthy of spending time with my body on such a momentous occasion.. I find some of my musings exceptionally obnoxious, when reading them back, almost immediately. But it is only obnoxious if its shared. if not shared, it is just my thoughts. and we can think whatever we like. My brain got foggier and foggier as the day went on today. I am exhausted. The bus is progressing slowly right now and my attempt to mulit task left me completely cotton wool brained. I was ready to go… Read More "Today is my 20 year sex anniversary…Loosing My Virginity."