If you are disconnected from, or deny your body, you will never get to experience, understand or even comprehend the true human experience. It does not matter how much you master your mind, understand language and comprehend complex ideas, you can never know what it is to be human until you master your body. You master your mind, to free your inner child, the witness. But unless you fix the muscle, sinews, tendons, facia and skin in-between the inner child and outer self, you cannot know what it is like for that inner child to truly run free in reality. The body, is no mind. It is no language. It is no narrative. It is no words. It is the cat, lying in the sun, reveling in the experience of existing in its physical body. There is no future. There is no past. There is only the body. The only place you will live for the rest of your life. You can ignore it. Deny it. But you can never escape it. Mental enlightenment, religion, spirituality and the concept of the soul, deny the body. They think the spirit, the soul, is higher. We can conceptualize about that all we want but without language, meaning, higher self, god, nor any other concept, can exist. There is no proof of this other reality. Without language you only have the physical now. So learning to trust your senses and your physical body, is learning what is actual truth and reality. Exist in that space and you get to see what it is really like to feel reality.
The emotional narrative that controls the majority of minds is not what it actually feels like to be alive. In order to know what is really true, you have to move into your no mind body. The human animal body. You are a human animal, being in the world. What does it feel like to be a human animal in your world? Feeling, to me, is the awareness of the information my senses are receiving about my body and the environment. Without language or judgement, find what your body is saying. If you can, change it. Right now, my stomach is tight, my shoulders are tingling and shivering slightly as my biceps and triceps are sore. I could stop writing and thinking for a second and breathe deep, let go of the tension and realign how I am sitting. Breathing into and letting go in, the areas of tension, immediately brings up a swelling of energy towards my heart and I begin to feel the need to cry. Obviously I am narrating this. But in the moment, I don’t need words in my head to understand what my body is feeling. It is my attention, not the narrator, that is moving around the body. You may only be able to do it for a second. It is what I think meditation is trying to get at. The cat analogy is more obvious in how to get there, for me. The cat would stretch and move, getting ever more comfortable and warm. And with practice, those moments of bliss expand. From one second, to one minute, from 30 minutes to infinitely more. From the work I have done, for the past 7 years, intentionally using myself as the gunnie pig for these ideas, it is where I live. My natural state is the human animal. I exist in the union of the mastery of the body and the mind. I let the lower ego play when and where I want online. I can’t control her when I work sometimes. I pull out the inner child, the witness, when I interact in the real world with the socialized, domesticated humans. But I intentionally spend 18 – 24 hrs. alone every day, so I can be the human animal I am meant to be. I am yin and I am yang. Perfectly entwined. The masculine, the feminine, and the awareness and respect of each side. I am light, I am dark, I am not scared of any part. I see my inner, I see my outer, I see all I can be.
I say what I do and push the ideas I do, cause this is what I want for you. I want it for you so you can know the cool euphoria of experiencing what it is to be truly human. And to be totally honest I also want it for you so I don’t have to be alone. The human animal is inherently a social, communal animal, and the way the world is and the way the disembodied progressivism is going, we are moving further and further from the human animal that truly knows what community feels like. I don’t see enough human animals in the world this way and we are loosing the ability to become truly free. Where I am, on the level of animal, I currently don’t see anyone else with whom I can play. To explore the world as animals together. To play and share real intimacy. The intimacy of human animal bodies together without language. That is where the real intensity and beauty of the human experience is meant to be. Its what our physical bodies evolved for. IT is what we are built for. To be intimately animal with each other. Everything after that is what the animal mind has added on top of this base, first principle reality. If people do not know what it really means to be human, how can anyone make society, culture and the world better for the majority? Do we really want systems, structures, societies and our bodies realities to be dictated by people who exist as a mind, who cannot comprehend the embodied side. So many people in power carry meat sacks around and behind their eyes I see terror. Do you really want to spend your life denying and suffereing a meat sack you never address? Or do you want to build your foundation, concepts, systems and knowledge from a place of inevitable truth and reality? I truly know this embodied, mastered human animal is the foundation stone to a thriving civilization. A thriving civilization prioritizes the awareness and appreciation of the integrated, self managed, balanced, healthy human body and brain.
You can start. You can do your part. All you have to do, is see what is there, outside of language. It is a not doing. It is a doing less. You can do less. You can be more.
Note: I think it is relevant that this piece, as is most of my writing, written in one sitting. One flow. From start to finish. Without stopping. Without editing. Only expanding ideas by a sentence here and there when re reading, before posting. I do not struggle to pour words onto the page. I do not need to contemplate the ideas I share as they are such a deep knowing I do not need to think ahead more than the word currently in my head. To me, writing is performative. A demonstration of my inner mind. The one that being an animal with Asperger’s hides. I don’t care if this seems like a boast. But how else will you know that I am different from most? When I hear pros talk about writing, the moment of rare joy they get in flow, is the only kind of writing I know. I think that is important to share. Who is struggling over words and lines and for whom it is just there. The flow, the rhythm, the uncomfortable stops, the uncontrollable rhyme. I cannot plan where it will go, I cannot think, I can only know, and keep typing until its time. Time to stop as now I am overthinking the process of writing and thinking!
