Happy Childless, If Not For The Others…Mothers.

This is just more proof for me as to why I don’t get on with most people. Most women. I am so different from the majority in all major factors, so add them all up and I really am rare in my perspective and experience on this planet. In terms of women who think the same as me re children, I am the same as the 10% of women who don;t want children who havent had them. Most women who haven’t had them, want them. I cannot comprehend. Out of the happy childless women, how many are age appropriate as a friend, how many are sex workers, how many are artists aswell, how many are loners, how many live in the wilderness? I would imagine HC women will have similar interests or ways of life cause of all the reasons they are HC will affect what interest we have. But finding each other in the same place, at the same time, who are able to interact and WANT to know anyone, I don;t. So when women don’t get me, don;t like me, think I’m hard or mean, they need to realize they are basically a different species. I am not the same as you. I cannot imagine wanting to care full time for other people. I am too important to be the last thing on my priority list. I would not want to believe that what I do bringing up a child wont have a impact on them and the world in a negative way for the rest of their lives. I can’t imagine not being able to say no ever again. I cannot imagine the heartbreak of your baby becoming a teenager and suddenly hating you. The pain and the trauma and the drama and the immersion in the daily minutia of other peoples perspective. Exhausting. Just doing that for me is hard enough. I feel like I’m managing a whole team or system of people just to keep me going. I freeze over every major decision as I am so aware of the potential consequensene I get decision paralazyz, I cannot imagine how hard it would be making decisions that will mold how another human experiences the world. The fact we just let anybody pop one out and do that blows my mind. No child has the right to a good upbringing in this world. And it shocks the shit out of me. We know the devestating consequences of bad parenting and even the huge and often devestating effect of absent parents or even “good” parents who have imparted bad ideas/unhealthy coping mechanisms, or didn’t teach their child how to cope as life was too good, can have. Yet nothing is being done to stop it. There should be standards to be met and specific knowledge, skills and understandings that should be universally applied. But hey, I don;t have to worry about it. I just have to live in a world where the consequencess of all the varieties of parenting are inflicted on me to the extent I can no longer cope with it and have become a hermit. I like people. I hate how they have been raised, domesticated and parented. So it does affect me and I do have a right to care about what all these women who aren’t like me, are doing to their children. I don;t like their minds. But I’m the odd one out who has to suffer their inadequasies and insecurities. Bad Mothers are real and its time to start exploring how far reaching the effect and conesequences of it are.