This is a story i need to get off my chest. It starts well. But this blog is about sexual reality, not just a bunch of stories for random men to jack off to. This whole situation has made me incredibly angry. I don’t want to work. I dont want to be nice. And i certainly dont want to make more gross men cum.
It happened with a giant cock. The first time we met was in the bus. It was late. We couldn’t move around much and had to be sneaky. He couldn’t hurt me with his giant dick. It was quite fun. It was exciting to have such a fat dick to try out and play with. The second time was at his apartment. He has two annoying dogs. I hate dogs. I don’t really remember the details that much. We ate indian food which was good. And obviously I didn’t “split the bill”, women who do that ruin the world for the ones who believe in chivalry or actually have more to offer than most men thus deserve to be paid for. The sex was good. I didn’t want to stop playing with it, but it did hurt a lot. We kept having to stop, change positions, etc. I had my toys with me and i got to cum around that fat dick a lot. I would cum just when it slid in me. Even in the morning we had a bit more sex. We had a good time. I was meant to be leaving town that day. But i decided to get some new tires so i had to stay two more nights to wait to get them fitted and delivered.
I took the next night to myself out at my spot outside Vegas. But i thought it would be a good idea to have some more sex before i left town, incase I wouldn’t get any for a while. I never really see anyone more than once. When i do, they start to annoy me, the sex isn’t ever as good, it can actually become kinda awkward and less fun, i start to notice parts of their personality i don’t like and i become more true to myself, rather than just being fun and easy-going. I often am not around long enough to see people more than once or we just kind of ghost each other after the first or second time. I am not after a relationship or even finding connections to people. Been there done that, definitely dont need it.
So this was the fateful third meeting with the giant dick. I can call people out on pretty deep and personal parts of their personality very quickly and easily. And i had sensed a darkness within this boy. He revealed i was right and had quite an angry and violent past. I could sense he wasnt as authentic as he made out and that he was covering up large parts of himself to seem nice to me. His dogs annoyed me again.
I can’t remember if we had normal sex first or if the shit storm happened right away. I think it was during out second sex, because I had gotten really sore already. It took me two days to recover from the last meeting. And i got sore very quickly. I know my body. I know my vagina. I am a PROFESSIONAL at sex. Yet men think they know better than me when it comes to how to fuck.
Because his dick was so big I needed him to fuck me slowly and deep, rather than long or fast strokes. I made this clear EVERY time we had sex. Occasionally speeding up felt good but I couldn’t take it very long. This time i wanted to cum before we finished. I was tired and i wanted to go to sleep. I had a long drive the next day. And my pussy was hurting a lot.
I was lying face down with him straddling my legs and his cock inside me. I needed him to keep it fairly still and let me slide up and down it and grind on it in a way that didn’t hurt me and would make me cum. But every single time I started to enjoy it, he would speed up and start just fucking me. I would push back on him and tell him to stop, that it was hurting and that I couldn’t do that. He stopped again and let me take over. And again as i was enjoying it, he sped up and just started fucking me. Again i told him to stop. He was hurting me, it didn’t feel good and he was ruining it for me. Again he apologised and said he would let me do my thing. And AGAIN he couldn’t keep any fucking control of his fat annoying ass and started pumping at me. I was getting pretty angry by this point and when he started speeding up AGAIN, i freaked the fuck out. I pushed up and used my body to get him off me and get out from under him while telling him to get the fuck off me. I was saying “No no no i can’t do this, get the fuck off me, how the fuck can’t you do the ONE thing im asking you to do? You keep hurting me, I cant do this, its fucking gross.” He started apologizing and immediately made it worse….
“I’m sorry…i cant control myself.”
That was it. I was so done. However. I am a woman. And I don’t want to cause problems with a random man, in his house, with a self admitted history of violence. I apologised saying i was very sensitive to this kind of shit. And i stayed and went to sleep at his. In the morning it was awkward and i wanted to leave as early as i can. I stayed polite. But i did not feel polite.
In the hours and days since this, i have gotten increasingly angry and disgusted at his behaviors and at myself for letting it happen to me. Yes i stopped it. But i was fucking someone who “couldn’t control themselves” with a women, when his dick was so big it would hurt anyone. The more i dwelled on it, the more i could see it in all our interactions from the start. He was pushy and domineering but as a boy who is 7 years younger than me, it just made me think he was an idiot. Like dude, you may think you know shit, but you’re 27. You don’t know shit. And clearly he has no idea how to treat a woman.
I am so put off by all sex as now i see how deeply one-sided it is. I have 20 years and hundreds of men, and years of professional service under my belt. But when i fuck ANY guy, it’s a pre decided order of life that they control how we fuck. Because it is their dick inside me, its down to them to choose how that goes. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Why is it assumed that men know how best to fuck? Why do men get to pump at any rate they see fit? Why do they never let a woman with 10-100 times more experience than them, take the lead? Why do no men LISTEN to a woman when their dick is hard? It’s so fucking gross. I feel so fucking violated. And now I don’t want to give any man the keys to my body. They do not respect my specific sexuality.
The only sex i really enjoy is paid sex. These men understand the dynamic. They understand they are seeing a professional. They treat me with respect and give me the power, the control. They don’t need to micro manage me. Do normal men walk into kitchens at restaurants and tell the chef how to cook their food? Because that is what they are doing to me, every time i fuck a man who doesn’t give me the control.
As a woman, i am just a hole for a man to use how it feels best for his dick. He might be doing things he thinks is good for the woman….but guess what…WE KNOW BEST about what feels good for us and often, anything you do, isn’t what we want. But there is no precedent for men to lie back and let a woman use their body for their pleasure.
One of the reasons i like sucking dick is cause i make them just lie there, not touch my head, not thrust, not do anything. Just lie there and let me enjoy playing with their dick as my own toy. I get weird with it. I’m not trying to suck it in a way that feels good to them, im doing what i want with my mouth and hands. As soon as they ask something or move in a way to hint at me doing something or try to control the situation, I feel sick. I want to stop.
Why cant men let us enjoy using their tool as WE see fit? We have played with our vaginas our whole life’s, but you think you can make it feel good by poking us with your random pole? No. We know best. Stop fucking how you want. And start letting the woman show you how to treat her vagina. We aren’t passive objects to be pleasured. And a grown ass fucking man should easily be able to “control himself” around us. There are self-aware, strong women who know what they want out there, so I suggest you start listening to us. I don’t need to feel like im getting raped ever again.
Ps. I don’t need to hear he is a douche or any sympathy. He is no exception. He is no different to MOST men. I do not need to hear it. This is normal day-to-day life as a sexual woman. I am just exposing it.
